It’s the moment you didn’t realise was coming, roughly a week after the festival closed and a week after we last saw a festival film, Mild Concern presents the first annual Mild Concern London Film Festival Awards. Over the almost two weeks we saw 18 films, were accosted by 2,305 ushers who wanted to help us find our seat and were bothered by 569.6 people arriving up to twenty minutes late for films and ruining it all.
What followed are some hastily cobbled together awards. Any filmmakers are welcome to email in and we will send out their trophy, just as soon as we find the glue gun.
Memento Award for Most Forgetful Film – The American
Well done Clooney, you did a thoroughly boring film about an assassin in a thoroughly boring town. I can’t remember how you filled a feature-length film with that little going on.
Lindsay Lohan Award for Biggest Mess – Kaboom
With its copious nudity, smug dialogue, bright colours and exponentially deranged plot this was the film that most made me baffled by its existence.
The Coldplay Award for Least Surprising Film – Brighton Rock
Somehow everyone knew what film it was going to be and then no one liked what they saw.
Keyser Söze Award for Biggest Surprise – The King’s Speech
Surprisingly funny and all round good this is Oscar bait that is fun to watch too. Firth is at his best right now.
Mel Gibson Award for Festival Bad Guy – Rowan Joffe
Responsible for both Brighton Rock and The American, Joffe has a lot to answer for.
Second Episode of Sherlock Award for Biggest Disappointment – It’s Kind of a Funny Story
They totally shot themselves in the foot with a title like that. Far too twee for its own good yet the trailer made it look all good and stuff.
Debenhams Award for Best HeKniSciFi – Never Let Me Go
Though Womb is a strong example of Heavy Knitwear Science Fiction it didn’t quite match the quiet sadness of Never Let Me Go. Plus it didn’t have Andrew Garfield.
Sarah Jessica Parker Award for Best Horror – Let Me In
As good as you’d expect and doesn’t totally ruin the original instead builds upon it. Chloe Moretz is so the new Natalie Portman.
Meerkat Manor Award for Best Documentary – Catfish
Pretty much guaranteed considering our review for Waste Land was delivered too late. Still this is a prime example of the modern documentary and a pretty moving and unexpected one at that.
Breaking Bad Award for Best Drama – Black Swan
I don’t care what anyone says this is what a good drama should be: incredibly tense, surprising and at times erotic to the max. Natalie Portman is the new Natalie Portman.
Community Award for Best Comedy – Submarine
More than just funny this is an awesome debut and a film I could watch again right now despite the fact that it’s late and I have work in the morning. If you don’t enjoy it we can’t subscribe to each others rss feeds anymore.
Next year we’ll have even more coverage. Boom.