This is not the Friday you’ve been waiting for, this is the Friday when a few mediocre films slide into cinemas with no fuss or muss. Submarine is expanding to almost twice the number of screens though, no excuses now people.
Cave of Forgotten Dreams
Picturehouse Cinemas have diversified and entered the distribution game. Their first film as distributor follows Werner Herzog filming for the first time inside caves in Southern France where the world’s oldest paintings reside.
Because Gwyneth Paltrow just won’t stop singing, and Taylor Swift made country cool (in a 15 year old girl way), we have a film in which Paltrow sings country. There’s probably a plot too but I’d hate to spoil it for you.
Channing Tatum (Roman lad) goes to Scotland to find the Eagle emblem his dad lost when he disappeared and marred the family name. Jamie Bell (the prancing fella) plays his English slave and companion. Can’t wait to hear Tatum’s Latin accent.
An ex-con goes out to avenge his brothers death, clearly risking becoming a con again and losing his ex-con edge. He is pursued by a veteran cop (just one day from retirement!) and a hit man. Could do with more country singing.
A Turtle’s Tale: Sammy’s Adventure
A turtle (Sammy) swims around for fifty years teaching us a lesson about global warming. Could do with an Al Gore cameo.
Wake Wood (limited release)
A couple grieving over the loss of their daughter are offered three more days with her thanks to a pagan ritual. I bet it doesn’t all go to plan! A British horror starring Timothy Spall makes this the best thing out this week.