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It’s a four-day weekend, the weather looks terrible and Kate and Will forgot to invite you to their wedding? What makes it worse is that there’s nothing out today worth seeing. Well, nothing spectacular. Forgive me if this whole thing is a little half-hearted.

Insidious
Parents try to prevent evil spirits from taking their comatose child into a different realm. Made for a tiny amount of money this has become the most profitable movie of 2011 in the US. That’s profitable, not necessarily good.

Cedar Rapids
Fun times at an insurance convention with Ed Helms and John C. Reilly. This comedy has the distinction of possibly being funny. C’mon, who doesn’t love Ed Helms?

The Veteran
“A soldier returning from the war in Afghanistan uncovers a conspiracy involving the intelligence services and a gang of drug dealers.”

Shadow
A different soldier goes mountain biking, meets a girl and then gets attacked by the locals in this horror that actually came out yesterday. Here’s a trailer if you’re interested.

Zombie Undead
Another one of those films that has two release dates. You still won’t be able to find it.

Farewell
During the Cold War the French tattle to the US about Soviet spies and consequences happen. With Diane Kruger and Willem Dafoe this is the kind of foreign film you find that bit more watchable because you recognise some of the faces.

I Saw the Devil
A serial killer kills (what else?) the pregnant fiancée of a secret agent and then said secret agent goes after him. This is an 18 so you’re guaranteed something pretty brutal.

Tracker
A western set in New Zealand starring Ray Winstone? Yes, now stop asking silly questions. Fingers crossed Winstone can do a better accent than Adam and Joe.

Upside Down
“The definitive film about Creation Records, one of the world’s most successful and colorful independent labels.” ‘Nuff said.

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Hello! Yes we’ve been quiet but we’ve been taking a break and enjoying the warm weather. We even turned down a “sponsored” post, down to a mixture of laziness and striving for integrity. The fact that we haven’t seen and reviewed today’s release though is down to nothing but laziness, for shame.

Thor
Natalie Portman is back with her fourth (and possibly not last) film of the year. This time she is the love interest of a superhero that also happens to be a god. Lots of positive reviews means that not going to see the film just because the screening was way over in Kensington was a bit foolish. I’ll get round to seeing it right after Scream 4.

Wow, this is a weak week for releases. Heh, weak week.

Arthur
Russell Brand remakes the Dudley Moore classic I’ve never heard of. It has the huge potential to be awful, but with Brand’s energy it just might work.

Beastly
That this is on general release is a sign of just how weak this week is. It’s like Beauty and the Beast without the enchantment.

How I Ended This Summer
Russian film about a meteorologist who has a tiff with a co-worker. That is not the official synopsis.

Adele Blanc-Sec
Lush looking Frenchy film about a novelist and her adventures. Because novelists have the craziest times.

Zombie Undead
Independent UK horror set in Leicester. Lord knows where you’ll actually find a screening of this.

Pina 3D
Remember Pina Bausch the choreographer who died just before they began making this film? Well want to see her dances in 3D? Never mind then.

Island
“Abandoned at birth, Nikki Black has spent most of her life in care sustained only by fairy-stories. Incapable of love, fearful and desperate for revenge, she decides to find her birth mother, confront her, and bitter enough to consider murder. She travels incognito to a remote Hebridean island where Phyllis now lives as a recluse with Calum, her son.” My favourite part of that synopsis is that we have no clue who Phyllis is.

Sweetgrass
Documentary following US shepherds herding sheep along a 300 kilometre route. Why does this appeal so much?

TT3D: Closer To The Edge
Watch Guy Martin race in the most dangerous race in the Isle of Man, and possibly a wider area, in 3D. Someone could die!

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As he briefly introduced the film last night Joe Cornish described Attack the Block as a first time for everyone involved; for himself, for the cinematographer, for Basement Jaxx and Steven Price producing the score and for the 11 young actors bearing the brunt of the film. But from the opening shot as we move down from the nights sky to Oval tube station it is clear that this is not the work of amateurs. Read more »

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