Unless you have children or are a big fan of Neighbours then we have nothing for you this week. Well there’s a film about a killer tyre, but you’d need to get to Brixton for that.
At college Minka Kelly is assigned Leighton Meester as a roommate and Meester develops a violent obsession. Sounds hot.
A pet bird goes to Rio with the bird of his dreams and then finally we can be done with the awful Orange adverts for Rio at the cinema.
Mars Needs Moms
Milo’s mum is kidnapped by Martians because… Mars needs mums (sorry “moms”) and he learns how much he truly needs his. Probably gets to do cool stuff in space too.
Tomorrow, When the War Began
Rachel Kinski from Neighbours leads a cast of teenagers who return from a camping trip to find that Australia (where they live, keep up) has been invaded and their families are missing. Guerilla warfare with teens, Battle Royale this ain’t.
Armadillo (limited release)
Danish documentary following soldiers in Afghanistan for six months. It won the Grand Prix de la Semaine de la Critique at this year’s Cannes film festival which is all kinds of impressive, and French.
The Silent House (limited release)
Foreign horror famed for being shown (if not necessarily shot) completely in real time with a single camera. No crazy editing here just terror and such.
Cold Fish (limited release)
From the BFI: “Sion Sono’s outrageously splattery thriller, allegedly based on fact, shows an innocent tropical-fish seller caught up in serial murders and corpse disposals.” Sounds awesome.
Rubber (limited release)
A tyre comes to life, falls in love and blows up things with it’s mind. If you can’t make it to the Ritzy tonight for the midnight screening you can buy it on DVD and Blu-ray on Monday.