A huge number of films out today and we have yet to see a single one. For shame. Still, we’re here to Google them so you don’t have to.
This remake of a classic horror remembered and beloved by almost no one is getting pretty mediocre reviews. Fans of David Tennant may enjoy his camp turn, but for most the lack of new ideas makes this vampire film a little underwhelming.
A found footage horror film set in space! I’d rather see Kill List.
The Art of Getting By
The adorable kid from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has grown up and started kissing Emma Roberts. Two teens fall in love and share some angst. A familiar genre that can be wonderful but can easily fail too. See It’s Kind of a Funny Story.
Attenberg (limited release)
Extremely stylised Greek film about a woman exploring her sexuality. It’ll be a difficult watch but there’s guaranteed nudity, your choice.
The Hedgehog (limited release)
A French girl decides to kill herself on her twelfth birthday. She then makes some unlikely friendships (as per usual) and presumably finds a reason to live. Also, a hedgehog.
Kill List (limited release)
This British horror has a huge buzz about it after its premiere last weekend. The less you know the better and I know absolutely nothing. Bring. It. On.
Days of Heaven (limited release)
Re-release of a classic bit of Terrence Malick about a laborer who convinces his lover to marry their dying boss.
3-D Sex and Zen: Extreme Ecstasy (limited release)
If you fancy seeing soft-core porn on the big screen AND in 3D then you are finally going to be satisfied. Plus thanks to BBFC cuts those pesky rape scenes are now just regular sex scenes. Phew!
Robotropolis (limited release)
Reporters visit a miscellaneous facility manned completely by robots. In a
tired trope fresh twist the robots turn against the humans.
Weekender (limited release)
The rave scene in Manchester in the 90s. Plot, characters and a conclusion. I have nothing more to give!
The Dead (London only)
British zombie film. End of.