Out Now – 21st October 2011

Imagine there’s a deadly disease spreading across the population and it is actually killing people rather than being blown out of proportion by the media. Imagine lots of A-listers including Kate Winslet and Matt Damon making frantic phone calls and flinching whenever someone coughs. Imagine “disturbing content and some language”. You just imagined Contagion.

Monte Carlo
Frothy girly romp, notable only because this image above includes two exciting things. Firstly Selena Gomez, star of Wizards of Waverley Place, the best Disney show an unemployed person could hope for, and secondly a horse. I love horses, best of all the animals. I love horses, they’re my friends.

Paranormal Activity 3
A once novel franchise is now becoming a bit of a farce. For the third time round we go back to the beginning as we see the haunted childhood of the sisters at the centre of the previous films. Expect more things going bump in the night.

Judy Moody and the Not Bummer Summer
With a title like this you know you’re onto a winner. In summary Judy Moody has a summer which could not be described as a bummer. Good timing this release.

Gus Van Sant returns with a film with the most indie of synopses: “The story of a terminally ill teenage girl who falls for a boy who likes to attend funerals and their encounters with the ghost of a Japanese kamikaze pilot from WWII.” Just think, in the end he’ll have to attend her funeral and it will ruin his hobby forever.

We Need To Talk About Kevin
A modern-day Rosemary’s Baby stars Tilda Swinton as the mother of an evil young boy. We thought it was fantastic and recommend you go see it before you do anything silly like give birth to demon spawn.

Blood in the Mobile (limited release)
Prepare to throw away your Nokia (as if anyone but me still has a Nokia) as documentarian (third use of the word this week) Frank Piasechi Poulsen investigates all the suffering people go through to gather the materials needed for him to have a mobile phone. By suffering I don’t mean working in Phones 4U, I mean mining metals using your hands.

Reuniting the Rubins (limited release)
Lenny Rubins must reunite his estranged children for a Jewish holiday to fulfil the wishes of his dying mother. British comedy starring Timothy Spall and about which I can’t think of anything amusing to say.

The Black Power Mixtape 1967-1975 (limited release)
A Swedish documentary about the US Black Power Movement, filmed way back when but edited together recently. It’s been ages since anyone made me a mixtape, I suppose I should make Sweden one back. Would Abba be too predictable?

The Yellow Sea (limited release)
A cab driver is offered the chance to sort his life out, all he has to do is kill one person. Considering this is a man living in a region between North Korea, China and Russia who makes extra money by playing mah-jong, he should probably go for it.

Four (limited release)
Brit flick about a man who kidnaps his wife’s lover in order to scare him off. Things go awry much like in The Disappearance of Alice Creed which also starred Martin Compston.