Below is a quick list of the highlights of UK TV this Christmas, taking you from Christmas Eve to Boxing Day. If you can learn anything from the below it is that I am a sucker for a Christmas special and that there’s plenty of gaps for popping on a Christmas DVD or, God forbid, talk to your family.
The Muppet Christmas Carol – Channel 4 – Midday
One of the greatest Muppet films stars Michael Caine recreating a Christmas classic with some great songs and awkward dancing.
The Santa Clause 2 – BBC1 – 1:30pm
Sequel to the fantastic Tim Allen comedy which I’m not entirely sure I’ve seen. Still, not much else on.
Morecambe and Wise – BBC2 – 8:00pm
An hour’s worth of classic Morecambe and Wise Christmas moments. They don’t make them like this any more.
Outnumbered – BBC1 – 9:20pm
In this Christmas special the Brockmans try to escape to the sun for the festive season but naturally nothing goes to plan.
Lapland – BBC1 – 10:00pm
Sue Johnston stars in a comedy drama about a family spending Christmas in Lapland.
Aladdin – ITV1 – 1:15pm
Far from fitting the Christmas theme this remains my favourite of the Disney films.
Big – Channel 4 – 5:20pm
Classic Tom Hanks coming of age comedy drama. Not exactly Christmassy either.
The Queen – BBC2 – 5:50pm
Not Helen Mirren but the actual Queen giving her annual speech, something I’ve never actually watched.
Doctor Who – BBC1 – 7:00pm
In WWII, the Doctor helps a woman and her two children have the best Christmas ever. Sadly the Ponds are left to cameos again.
Coronation Street – ITV1 – 8:00pm
It’s this or Strictly and I come from a Corrie family.
Downton Abbey – ITV1 – 9:00pm
It’s Christmas at Downton so a big party is being thrown. Expect panic downstairs and tension upstairs. Bring your own bonnet.
Absolutely Fabulous – BBC1 – 10:00pm
It will be interesting to see if the jokes hold up after six years as Jennifer Saunders returns to her hit sitcom.
Christmas Crackers – Sky1 – 11:00pm
Sky1 has made more of the hit and miss short films telling stories from a variety of stars’ youths. Guaranteed to include a few gems.
Seven Brides for Seven Brothers – five – 3:10pm
Not to everyone’s taste but this classic MGM musical was my Grandma’s favourite.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – ITV1 – 3:30pm
As an alternative I offer one of the worse Potter films. SPOILER ALERT: It was bloody Ginny’s fault.
The Borrowers – BBC1 – 7:30pm
Yet another adaptation of the classic story of tiny people living in your house. Stephen Fry, Victoria Wood, Robert Sheehan and Christopher Eccleston are amongst the cast.
Bear’s Wild Weekend with Miranda – Channel 4 – 9:00pm
I love Bear Grylls and (much to my flatmates’ disgust) I love Miranda Hart so seeing the two of them pal around on the Swiss Alps is something not to be missed.
The Royal Bodyguard – BBC1 – 9:30pm
David Jason returns to comedy as a bumbling soldier somehow put in charge of all royal security.