Out Now – 2nd March 2012

Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd are a couple struggling with their finances after losing their jobs. Naturally they then join a hippy commune and we can all enjoy the roflcopter this inspires. You’ve got to love topical humour; bloody hippies eh?

This Means War
Tom Hardy and Chris Pine are two CIA operatives fighting for the love of Reese Witherspoon in an action comedy described by Stephen as a “hoot”. This week I am using my pointless photoshopping to highlight the pointless photoshopping on the UK poster for This Means War – they were so lazy they used the same body for both male leads. I’m amazed Witherspoon’s red dress isn’t being worn underneath the same pinstripe suit.

Project X
Three teens try to throw the ultimate house party and it all goes horribly right. Drugs! Drink! Boobs! Flames! Gnome! Dwarf! Music! Pool! Dog abuse! Swearing! An escalating disaster without depth, plot or character!

Hunky Dory
Minnie Driver is a drama teacher in 1976. To inspire her students she puts on a musical production of The Tempest using popular music to tell the story. If it’s not Return to the Forbidden Planet, I’m not watching.

Khodorkovsky (limited release)
I present a brilliantly confusing synopsis from IMDb courtesy of Anonymous, “Khodorkovsky, the richest Russian, challenges President Putin. A fight of the titans begins. Putin warns him. But Khodorkovsky comes back to Russia knowing that he will be imprisoned, once he returns. When I heard about it, I asked myself: why didn’t he stay in exile with a couple of billions? Why did he do that? A personal journey to Khodorkovsky.” Why did he do that?

Carancho (limited release)
Romantic Argentinian drama; a love story between a doctor and an ambulance chasing lawyer.

Michael (limited release)
Any film about the five months in which a paedophile keeps a 10-year-old boy locked in his basement is hard to describe as a must see, but from what I’ve heard this film about the five months in which a paedophile keeps a 10-year-old boy locked in his basement is a must see.

If Not Us, Who? (limited release)
German drama spanning the 1940s and 1960s dealing with lots of heavy political issues. No wonder then that the single plot keyword offered up on IMDb is “Male Frontal Nudity”. God bless IMDb, categorising films in all manner of ways since 1990.

Blank City (limited release)
A documentary of New York City art, music, and film from the late 1970s and 1980s.