21 Jump Street
A surprisingly well reviewed remake of the late 80s Johnny Depp comedy about cops sent undercover in a high school. A comedy remake starring Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum with a score of 85% on Rotten Tomatoes, who’d have thunk it?
We Bought a Zoo
Cameron Crowe finally returns from seven years of pretending that Elizabethtown never happened with a family friendly film about a family who buy a zoo complete with its own Scarlett Johansson. Coming from the man behind Almost Famous this is a little underwhelming.
“To protect his brother-in-law from a drug lord, a former smuggler heads to Panama to score millions of dollars in counterfeit bills.” It sounds like a terrible idea to me but then this film stars Mark Wahlberg – a man who thought The Happening was a good idea (Zooey Deschanel was clearly tricked).
The Devil Inside
Fake documentary about a woman investigating exorcisms after her Mother kills three people while being… exorcised(?). This film having been universally panned by critics you’d be better off seeing The Last Exorcism for your fake-documentary-about-exorcism needs.
In Darkness (limited release)
A film I have seen and liked! Jews hide from Nazis in the sewers of a Polish city in a film I described as powerful, dark and ultimately beautiful. I also called it long and Polish but there we go.
Bill Cunningham New York (limited release)
I don’t know much about Bill Cunningham, noted veteran New York City fashion photographer, beyond the fact that he is eternally moving in a particularly snazzy animated gif. Anything else you need to know… go see this documentary and stop bugging me.
Once Upon a Time in Anatolia (limited release)
A group of men go out looking for a dead body on the Anatolian steppe. I have no idea why, Google it yourself. I don’t even know what the Anatolian steppe is. I don’t even know what a steppe is. State school education has failed me.
How to Re-Establish a Vodka Empire (limited release)
Bizarrely niche how-to guide or documentary following film director Dan Edelstyn as he tries to relaunch his great grandfather’s vodka empire.