Out Now – 11th May 2012

Dark Shadows
A vampire rises from the ruins of a McDonald’s in the early 70s and moves back into his former home with a dysfunctional group of descendants. Shot in the UK with a soap opera sensibility, don’t be too surprised if William Roach makes a cameo.

Jeff, Who Lives at Home
A bit of mainstream mumblecore about a pair of brothers failing at life. Jeff, who lives at home, spends the days with his brother Pat as they follow Pat’s (potentially) adulterous wife.

How I Spent My Summer Vacation
One 9-year-old’s essay about their summer vacation will apparently involve helping Mel Gibson to survive in a Mexican prison. Certainly beats “I went camping in Wales for a week”. I don’t think I’ve ever helped Mel Gibson to survive anything, shame on me.

All in Good Time
British comedy about a newly wed couple who struggle to find the privacy they need to consummate their marriage. Expect the climax of the film to be the young couple checking into a Premier Inn with a wink and a smile.

Piranha 3DD
Get excited everyone, the piranhas are back! If this is anything like its predecessor then we are guaranteed one hell of a fun film where the 3D and the plot don’t take themselves too seriously. Expect boobs, blood, and naughty words.

Café de Flore (limited release)
French Canadian film telling two seemingly unconnected love stories. Described as a “mystical and fantastical odyssey on love” this is possibly a better date movie than Piranha 3DD, depending on who you’re dating.

Mitsuko Delivers (limited release)
A pregnant woman moves back to the working-class alley where she grew up in Tokyo and sorts everyone else’s lives out.

Charlie Casanova (limited release)
After killing a working girl in a hit and run, as you do, Charlie resigns himself from making decision in his life letting a pack of playing cards decide his fate instead. Ace of Spades, tequila shots. Queen of Hearts, kill a hooker.

Beloved (limited release)
Romantic musical drama starring Catherine Deneuve which spans three decades and follows a mother and daughter’s misadventures in love. Calling it a French Mamma Mia would be a stupid thing to do.

Faust (limited release)
Man sells his soul to the devil in exchange for knowledge, things end badly.