Tom Cruise plays Tom Cruise as a pint-sized version of lots of people’s favourite literary detective famous for being tall and not at all like Tom Cruise. The plot involves a trained military sniper who presumably will fail to shoot Jack Reacher on account of expecting him to be a foot or two taller.
Hideous looking family comedy about two grandparents (Billy Crystal and Bette Midler slumming it) struggling to babysit their grandchildren. That really is the entire plot. If this were based on my childhood it would be me and my sister sitting watching Grease/Sound of Music/Seven Brides for Seven Brothers/The Flintstones Meet Rockula and Frankenstone while my Grandma cooks us some bacon.
Safety Not Guaranteed (limited release)
Indie comedy about a potentially crazy man who thinks he can time travel and the journalists who investigate his story. Kat found the film funny and touching but ultimately called it “indie comedy drama by-the-numbers“. Just to be sure I wandered along to a press screening and I agree with Kat. Good old Kat.
Grabbers (limited release)
What appears to be a comedy film set in Ireland in which aliens/monsters invade and the locals head to their local. With the invaders allergic to alcohol the only way to survive is to get drunk.
Midnight’s Children (limited release)
Salman Rushdie gets his first film adaptation (we all remember our first don’t we?) and even gives narrating a crack with this story of two children born as India gains independence and growing up in a country different from the one their parents remember. The children are born at midnight rather than the children of someone called Midnight (I just gave it a Google, you’re very welcome).
Zaytoun (limited release)
“Beirut, 1982: a young Palestinian refugee and an Israeli fighter pilot form a tentative bond in their attempt to make their way across war-torn Lebanon back to their home.” Ladies and gentlemen, we have a film featuring an unlikely friendship! That make 256 this year.