Sorry we’ve been quiet this week I’ve been too busy raiding HMV to put words into sentences and try to use those to build up paragraphs.
The Last Stand
It’s an action film starring well-known politician Arnold Schwarzenegger and the man best known for self-abuse, Johnny Knoxville, so what do we care what the plot is?
Claiming to have the largest cast ever assembled Movie 43 is an anthology film consisting of 12 separate comedy stories. Anthology films can be great, Paris Je T’aime, or desperately awful, Valentines Day. Who knows which this will be.
Zero Dark Thirty
Kathryn Bigelow is back to try to recreate her Oscar glory with this hastily rewritten story of the hunt for Osama bin Laden. Fingers crossed you haven’t been watching the news for the past few years or you might know how it ends.
Nominated for a whopping 12 Oscars Lincoln covers the period of Lincoln’s life in which he fights to amend the American constitution to abolish slavery. A powerful lead performance and important subject matter have distracted people from what is a mediocre film.
The King of Pigs (limited release)
“Jong-suk and Kyung-min meet up to talk about their high school past, it’s been 15 years since they last talked. It brings up all kinds of memories.” Talking about the past is tricky without memories, give it a try. “Hey, remember when… Oh. Never mind.”
Hollow (limited release)
Horror set in the English countryside. IMDb user BENTbe claims that “at times the character development is a bit too in-depth for a horror movie”. Ugh, characters should just die, not develop. Overall he rated the film 8/10. Not bad.
Race 2 (limited release)
In this sequel to Race (I’m guessing) “Ranvir treads through the world of the Indian mafia in Turkey as he looks to avenge the death of his lover and partner in crime.”
Won’t Back Down (limited release)
Two mothers, played by Maggie Gyllenhaal and Viola Davies, fight to improve their children’s school. It’s an OFSTED inspector’s wet dream. Ew.
Karaoglan (limited release)
“Karaoglan is a Turkish historical comic book and drawn by Suat Yalaz.” Thanks IMDb, that doesn’t help at all when describing a live action film. We’ve got two Oscar nominees out today there’s no time for messing about.