Mild Concern Oscars 2013 Live Ramble

Mild-Concern-Oscars-2013-Live-Ramble

One of the film calendar’s biggest events in which the rich and famous pat one another on the back is here. We’ve prepared as best we can by watching as many of the films as possible; no fiction film in the English language not in a technical category has escaped my eyes.

It has been exhausting but not as exhausting as staying up until 5 a.m. watching Seth MacFarlane host an awards ceremony longer than any of the films nominated – and most of them were far too long. People will sing, actors will cry, and Daniel Day-Lewis will almost certainly not go home empty-handed. We are also guaranteed to slip into lunacy at some point.

I will be starting with the red carpet coverage as soon as I can bring myself to do so… and find an illegal online stream to watch. Fingers crossed I can get the live blogging software to work.

EDIT: All seems to work. If you are joining us tonight, or fancy reliving it blow by blow in the morning, then open this post in a new window and all the fun should dynamically update in-front of your eyes. If it doesn’t you’re using the wrong browser and I wash my hands of you.

EDIT: How could I forget about my old friends/alcoholism enablers at NOW TV? Legal live streaming ahoy!

Tim Sunday, 24th February 201311:06 pm

Red carpet coverage starts in just under half an hour. Just as at the cinema you must sit through bad adverts at the Oscars it is feeble red carpet interviews

Tim Sunday, 24th February 201311:31 pm

Yay! It’s starting. Crap, it’s Alex Zane

Tim Sunday, 24th February 201311:35 pm

For some reason Sky are using the sound of an orchestra tuning up as their Oscar theme music

Rach Sunday, 24th February 201311:40 pm

I’m sure everybody will be thrilled to know I’ve had to give up on my old laptop and will be watching everything from the living room floor less than a foot away from the TV.

Tim Sunday, 24th February 201311:42 pm

That is dedication! All for the love of MOET and Alex Zane

Rach Sunday, 24th February 201311:43 pm

I’ve noticed Alex Zane has decided to forego the weird unflattering glasses this time.

Tim Sunday, 24th February 201311:44 pm

But he is sitting on a seat that is slightly too low for him to sit on it and look dignified

Tim Sunday, 24th February 201311:48 pm

I bet that Alex Zane is going to express a positive opinion for every film mentioned tonight. As host he is not allowed opinions

Rach Sunday, 24th February 201311:50 pm

I hope now you’ve said that, everything he does express an opinion on (“Anne Hathaway is nailed on to win”) is wrong. Just so he looks stupid.

Rach Sunday, 24th February 201311:51 pm

Now that I’ve decided that Russell Crowe in Les Mis looked like Paul Hollywood of Great British Bake Off fame, I can’t see anything else.

Tim Sunday, 24th February 201311:54 pm

It’s all in the eyes

Rach Sunday, 24th February 201311:56 pm

If only you could also Photoshop Javert singing about soggy bottoms.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:00 am

I may just spend the next five hours trying speed Photoshop

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:03 am

Emmanuelle Riva would make a good Mary Berry

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:07 am

WHOA!!! The “N word” was just used. Not by Alex Zane though

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:08 am

It’s obviously okay to say it if you’re quoting a character in an Oscar nominated film. Oscar nominations make everything okay.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:11 am

I doubt I could get away with it.

We are 41 minutes in, why is there no red carpet coverage?!

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:13 am

This is what I’ve just been complaining about. They can’t call it “Red Carpet Live” and then give us THIS! I’m tempted to switch over to E! for a bit.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:13 am

Let us know what you find. The whole of Twitter seems to be watching E! instead

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:16 am

Back to Lucy on the red carpet speaking to… nobody at all. Fantastic

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:16 am

Ryan Seacrest is looking incredibly short over on E!

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:20 am

Alex Zane has just promised that we will shortly be joining the stars on the red carpet FIFTY MINUTES IN!!!

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:21 am

Hasn’t he already said that once? I don’t think I trust his judgement of what “shortly” is.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:22 am

The trailer for Lincoln fails to include a single quote from my review. “For a film with a foregone conclusion for an ending, it takes far too long to get to it.”

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:22 am

Alex Zane is a damn dirty liar

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:25 am

Alex Zane has learned how to say Quvenzhané and he’s going to keep saying it.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:25 am

Finally. We are now joining Americans who may or may not be aware they are on Sky

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:26 am

KChen is not exactly a natural at presenting.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:26 am

Kristin Chenoweth is 25cm tall

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:27 am

By the time they finish introducing all of their “team”, it’ll be time for the ceremony to start.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:27 am

Catherine Zeta Jones is standing awkwardly in the background. Is she hosting for Sky too?

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:29 am

Women are talking about outfits, colours, and make up. I am lost and a little scared

Stephen Monday, 25th February 201312:30 am

Joining upstairs would make sense. But now I just feel bad for still having not written Audrey Tatou reviews.

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:30 am

I zoned out at Miu Knew/Knew Miu.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:31 am

Welcome Stephen!

Rach – They rhyme so it is funny!

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:32 am

After dicking about in the studio for an hour Sky are now cutting people off midway through their awkward red carpet interview

Stephen Monday, 25th February 201312:33 am

10pm bedtime! I should have been starring in films as a child.

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:34 am

Quvenzhané!! I’ve put that on my clipboard and I’m not afraid to use it.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:34 am

Jennifer Lawrence looks like a giant next to Kristen C.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:34 am

Jennifer Lawrence swore!! I love her

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:35 am

She has a history with British men, you should go for her.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:36 am

I need no more encouragement.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:37 am

I think next year I will try and get Moet to send us a few bottles each just for sitting through their sponsorship bits

Stephen Monday, 25th February 201312:37 am

I just put them in my mouth. Am I boring?

Stephen Monday, 25th February 201312:37 am

I would of course be talking about Maltesers

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:38 am

Context is key

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:38 am

Sing Date?!?? This sounds terrible.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 201312:39 am

That had better be on nowtv.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:39 am

But the X Factor has taught us that there is no trait more admirable in a human being than the ability to sing

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:40 am

Oh CZJ has stopped hovering menacingly and demanded to be interviewed to give her purpose.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:40 am

Michael Douglas just referred to himself in the third person

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:41 am

It’s me!!

Or Daniel Radcliffe

Stephen Monday, 25th February 201312:42 am

Why does he always pull a face like he’s just gotten away with a perverted act without being noticed?

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:42 am

I think you just answered your own question

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:43 am

I finally saw The Impossible today and I reckon Naomi Watts is in over 50% of the film so I reckon she qualifies for leading actress.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:44 am

I reckon

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:44 am

She doesn’t do a lot in some of it, but to be fair, looking back I think that vomiting blood/string/whatever scene alone qualifies her for that category.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:44 am

JGL!!!

Stephen Monday, 25th February 201312:44 am

I saw Die Hard today and I reckon Naomi Watts is in 0% of the film so she deserves the Oscar.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:46 am

Bradley Cooper has brought what looks like a dodo with him

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:46 am

Is she the dodo from Pirates & Scientists?

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:46 am

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:49 am

Stephen Monday, 25th February 201312:50 am

Uncanny

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:51 am

They’re showing a lot of trailers for Lincoln.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:51 am

As an aside, I’m not sure how comfortable I am about dead actors being used in advertising

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:54 am

Lincoln could do with earning more money. Everyone has been too busy watching Les Mis and Django

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:54 am

And Wreck It Ralph.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:54 am

I’ve walked numerous red carpets over the years. I tend to feel both ignored and in the way

Rach Monday, 25th February 201312:55 am

On occasion you survive the red carpet only to have feet clicked in your face at the screening itself.

Tim Monday, 25th February 201312:56 am

That happens far too often.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:00 am

Where is Nicholas Hoult tonight?

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:00 am

They’ve broken up haven’t they?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:04 am

What terrible news…

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:06 am

Robert de Niro was re-enacting Amour there

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:07 am

The rest of the year that staircase is the least glam thing ever. It just leads to a smoothie shop and a place that sells horrible clothes.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:07 am

I admire de Niro’s ability to walk away from his hairdresser mid-cut.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:08 am

Jennifer Aniston can’t even keep looking at this woman for the length of the interview. It’s not a good sign.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:08 am

It’s all that coffee from the rubbish internet at home.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:09 am

It’s all that coffee she’s been drinking for the sake of good broadband

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:09 am

Mind meld!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:09 am

Uhoh.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:10 am

That lady really needs a box/stilts/second lady to stand on.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:11 am

Wow. KChen is literally the entire opposite of Adele in every way.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:11 am

Adele may eat her by accident

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:13 am

George Clooney is in Berlin right now

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:19 am

Rach, do you like a beard?

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:21 am

I really really do not.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:26 am

No one liked Anne’s kitchen apron 🙁

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:27 am

The editor of that montage is making me haemmorage.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:29 am

It’s starting!

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:30 am

Wait… Are we going to be cutting to Alex Zane even during the show?!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:30 am

Anybody reading this tomorrow will be thrilled to know how much rambling we’ve done and it hasn’t even started.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:30 am

Sadly yes. He pops up when the Americans are having too many ad breaks.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:31 am

I am this excited:

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:33 am

Silly 3D making more money.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:35 am

Three consecutive years of sitting through the American Dad panel at Comic Con has given me a deep rooted hatred of Seth MacFarlane, so it’ll be interesting to see how this goes for me.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:35 am

You may well attack your TV

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:37 am

Of course. William Shatner has just descended via a giant TV screen

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:37 am

I agree with Shatner though. Get Tina and Amy to host everything. Or Amy anyway.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:37 am

Tina and Amy SHOULD host everything.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:38 am

Future actresses are wearing different dresses. If we’re meant to believe this is the future of tonight they shouldn’t be wearing different dresses… joke fail.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:39 am

How exactly DID he get this job?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:40 am

Why are they showing this pre-recorded? He’s standing on the same stage now!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:41 am

Isn’t Shatner showing him the pre-record because it’s meant to be Shatner from the future showing him how much of a bad job he did? If the jokes are this complicated then they’re not working.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:41 am

Channing Tatum is dancing with Charlize Theron. Bets on whether his trousers are tear-away?

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:41 am

I only want to see tear-away trousers if Matt Bomer is there.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:43 am

Magic Mike somehow having zero nominations

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:43 am

Tim! It’s like you’re singing and dancing with JGL!

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:43 am

Radcliffe has eyebrows for the three of them

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:44 am

Look at me go!

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:44 am

I don’t recall yours being as impressive, Tim

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:44 am

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:45 am

I will grow them for you

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:46 am

*fist pump*

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:47 am

Are we in any danger of getting an actual award before the next time we see Alex Zane?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:48 am

We’ll get to see Seth inwardly awarding himself Best Host Ever

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:48 am

So far there hasn’t been a conversation between Stewie, Peter and Brian, so yeah, he’s doing well.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:49 am

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Nominees:
Alan Arkin for Argo (2012)
Robert De Niro for Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Philip Seymour Hoffman for The Master (2012)
Tommy Lee Jones for Lincoln (2012)
Christoph Waltz for Django Unchained (2012)

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:49 am

I think Waltz will win this but I still don’t think it’s fair, he’s in it too much. I don’t know who I’d rather though. Probably Jones. Hoffman was good too though.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:50 am

This is the only one I don’t have an opinion on, really..

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:50 am

I’d like De Niro to win for actually having a proper role rather than a cameo

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:50 am

Tommy Lee Jones should win for MIB3 not Lincoln

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:51 am

And the Oscar goes to Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:51 am

Arkin’s face. Amazing.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:51 am

Good job Tim’s doing the official bit while I just throw popcorn at the screen.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:53 am

Jack Nicholson now thinks he’s Quentin Tarantino

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:53 am

I would also like to announce I gave my other laptop a second chance and it seems to actually be holding charge. So I’m giving my numb bum a reprieve from being on the floor for a bit, hooray!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:53 am

Nicholson looked very confused

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:54 am

For the record I am lying in bed with a bag of donuts

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:55 am

I think the popcorn I just microwaved may have been meant for at least four people. Oops.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:56 am

I’m curled up in a ball with half a pizza from last night.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:57 am

We three, being more interesting than Alex Zane and Pals, obviously

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:57 am

Each of us classy in our own way

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:58 am

I think Alex Zane and Pals would be much more entertaining if they were lounging around in pyjamas eating junk food and discussing happenings.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:58 am

One woman sitting near a microphone in the audience is loving the comedy this year

Rach Monday, 25th February 20131:58 am

Paperman is the only one I’d seen, so yay for that!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:59 am

Best Short Film, Animated
Nominees:
Adam and Dog (2011): Minkyu Lee
Fresh Guacamole (2012): PES
Head Over Heels (2012): Timothy Reckart, Fodhla Cronin O’Reilly
Paperman (2012): John Kahrs
The Simpsons: The Longest Daycare (2012): David Silverman

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:59 am

And the Oscar goes to Paperman, John Kahrs

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20131:59 am

I feel bad for having only seen Paperman and Simpsons, but yay PapermanM

Tim Monday, 25th February 20131:59 am

Got distracted for a moment

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:00 am

I’d also like to say shove that in your pipe and smoke it, small child behind me at Wreck It Ralph who spent the whole of Paperman shrieking MUMMYYYYYYYYYYY, WHERE’S RALPHHHHHHHHHH. ITS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT A BIG MANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN MUMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20132:00 am

He said bye. What a nice fellow.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:00 am

Best Animated Feature Film of the Year
Nominees:
Brave (2012): Mark Andrews, Brenda Chapman
Frankenweenie (2012): Tim Burton
ParaNorman (2012): Sam Fell, Chris Butler
The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists! (2012): Peter Lord
Wreck-It Ralph (2012): Rich Moore

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:00 am

The Oscar goes to Brave

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20132:01 am

Awwwwww. Paranorman was stellar.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:01 am

Interesting that three of the five nominees this year were stop-motion.

Brave was not the best in that list

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:01 am

Brave certainly was not the best in that list.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:02 am

This was the shortest short ever nominated: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMO6vjmkyI

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:03 am

While we watch this montage I would like to admonish Rach for encourage a child to smoke a pipe

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:04 am

Of Life of Pi, Les Miserables, and Beasts of the Southern Wild I think Life of Pi was my favourite

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:05 am

I have to keep it in the family and root for Les Mis, but I think if I’m being honest Life of Pi was probably my favourite of the three too.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:06 am

Ah, did your uncle work on Les Mis?

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:06 am

All of them? All in one place? Where’s Scar Jo?

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20132:06 am

I hope Crowe has a solo in whatever the Les Mis folks sing later.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:07 am

And yes, he did. I remember him being annoyed with Sacha Baron Cohen for a while because he was ill and due to them singing live on set it meant if he was too ill to sing they couldn’t film any of his bits.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:07 am

Best Achievement in Cinematography
Nominees:
Anna Karenina (2012/I): Seamus McGarvey
Django Unchained (2012): Robert Richardson
Life of Pi (2012): Claudio Miranda
Lincoln (2012): Janusz Kaminski
Skyfall (2012): Roger Deakins

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:07 am

He was also meant to work on Anna Karenina but didn’t for some reason, seems like he didn’t miss much there!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:08 am

Life of Pi is the prettiest

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:08 am

BOOM!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:08 am

The Oscar goes to Claudio Miranda, Life of Pi

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20132:09 am

I’m sorry, Skyfallers

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:10 am

Best Achievement in Visual Effects
Nominees:
Avengers Assemble (2012): Janek Sirrs, Jeff White, Guy Williams, Daniel Sudick
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012): Joe Letteri, Eric Saindon, David Clayton, R. Christopher White
Life of Pi (2012): Bill Westenhofer, Guillaume Rocheron, Erik De Boer, Donald Elliott
Prometheus (2012/I): Richard Stammers, Trevor Wood, Charley Henley, Martin Hill
Snow White and the Huntsman (2012): Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, Phil Brennan, Neil Corbould, Michael Dawson

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:11 am

I don’t think Mark Ruffalo knows how to clap

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:11 am

Oh, Life of Pi won, again. Expect to hear all about it in any new adverts

Stephen Monday, 25th February 20132:12 am

NowTV has already broken. No Oscars for me.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:13 am

They are using the music from Jaws to play off the winners

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:13 am

It is quite aggressive

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:13 am

It was amusing until it got louder and louder, then it was scary. And mean.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:14 am

So long as they never use the Psycho music

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:18 am

Best Achievement in Costume Design
Nominees:
Anna Karenina (2012/I): Jacqueline Durran
Les Misérables (2012): Paco Delgado
Lincoln (2012): Joanna Johnston
Mirror Mirror: The Untold Adventures of Snow White (2012/I): Eiko Ishioka
Snow White and the Huntsman (2012): Colleen Atwood

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:18 am

I have only seen Les Mis and Lincoln in this category

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:20 am

The Oscar goes to Jacqueline Durran, Anna Karenina

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:20 am

Best Achievement in Makeup and Hairstyling
Nominees:
Hitchcock (2012): Howard Berger, Peter Montagna, Martin Samuel
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012): Peter King, Rick Findlater, Tami Lane
Les Misérables (2012): Lisa Westcott, Julie Dartnell

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:20 am

Why are they sitting on their own?!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:20 am

Shame that Cloud Atlas wasn’t nominated here

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:21 am

And the Oscar goes to Les Miserables who, as Rach pointed out, are sitting in a theatre box of some kind

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:22 am

Time for the Bond tribute I think

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:22 am

As a person who has never seen a single Bond film, I expect the next few minutes will struggle to hold my attention.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:24 am

When they said a James Bond tribute I didn’t think they meant a fan vid

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:25 am

And now we have Shirley Bassey

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:29 am

Apparently the Academy Awards features flashing images.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:32 am

The thing about the best song category is that I feel like Les Mis added an extra song JUST so it could enter that category. And that annoys me, so despite my Adele Apathy I want Skyfall to win.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:32 am

Apathy trumps annoyance every time

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:33 am

While they were doing their Bond “tribute” I played Candy Crush and topped up my Starbucks card.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:33 am

Best Short Film, Live Action
Nominees:
Asad (2012): Bryan Buckley, Mino Jarjoura
Buzkashi Boys (2012): Sam French, Ariel Nasr
Curfew (2012/I): Shawn Christensen
Death of a Shadow (2012): Tom Van Avermaet, Ellen De Waele
Henry (2011/III): Yan England

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:34 am

I failed to find and watch any of these. Where was my DVD?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:34 am

And the Oscar goes to Curfew

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:34 am

He was in a little box as well!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:35 am

Will people ever realise that while they’re saying “I haven’t got much time so I’ll be quick” that’s five seconds they could have spent thanking an extra elderly aunt?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:36 am

I think he was filling

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:36 am

Best Documentary, Short Subject
Nominees:
Inocente (2012): Sean Fine, Andrea Nix
Kings Point (2012): Sari Gilman, Jedd Wider
Mondays at Racine (2012): Cynthia Wade, Robin Honan
Open Heart (2013): Kief Davidson, Cori Shepherd Stern
Redemption (2012/V): Jon Alpert, Matthew O’Neill

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:36 am

And the Oscar goes to Inocente

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:38 am

A strangled cry of “and my son” as the winners are kicked off stage

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:40 am

Although Zero Dark Thirty was never going to be up my street, it lost all chance of me taking it seriously when Andy from Parks & Rec was being a serious soldier. Because in my head he was just Bert Macklin FBI and I kept expecting him to look to camera and pull an amusing face. Sorry Chris Pratt.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:40 am

Of Argo, Lincoln, and Zero Dark Thirty I have to go for Argo despite me now wanting it to win

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:41 am

Plus it randomly had John Barrowman which was completely distracting

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:42 am

Oh! You know, when I was making my mental list of people in/who worked on nominated films who I’ve met, I completely forgot to add Barrowman.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:44 am

Best Documentary, Feature
Nominees:
5 Broken Cameras (2011): Emad Burnat, Guy Davidi
The Gatekeepers (2012): Dror Moreh, Philippa Kowarsky, Estelle Fialon
How to Survive a Plague (2012): David France, Howard Gertler
The Invisible War (2012): Kirby Dick, Amy Ziering
Searching for Sugar Man (2012): Malik Bendjelloul, Simon Chinn

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:45 am

Searching for Sugar Man takes the Oscar

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:45 am

It’s the only one I’ve seen so… good

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:46 am

I haven’t seen any of them so I’ll just say good as well.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:49 am

Logically speaking Amour has to win Best Foreign Film

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:50 am

You’d think, if it’s the only foreign film good enough to be put in the overall category then it must be better than all the other foreign films.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:50 am

Michael Haneke can use this defense if it doesn’t win

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:51 am

Besides, it’s the only one I got round to watching

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:51 am

Best Foreign Language Film of the Year
Nominees:
Amour (2012)(Austria)
War Witch (2012)(Canada)
No (2012/I)(Chile)
A Royal Affair (2012)(Denmark)
Kon-Tiki (2012)(Norway)

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:51 am

Jennifer Garner has had a lot of practice saying foreign things when she was in Alias so they got her to do this bit.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:51 am

And the Oscar goes to… Amour

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:52 am

I think I’ve had too much popcorn, I’m starting to feel ill. And yet I’m still eating it.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:54 am

We’re getting another “celebration” this time of movie musicals starring the cast of Les Mis

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:54 am

Nobody taught Travolta how to pronounce Misérables.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:55 am

Or any of the other words he had to say for that matter

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:55 am

Zeta-Jones is singing All That Jazz

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:56 am

I got distracted trying to find the accent for the e in Misérables and wasn’t paying attention – why is CZJ singing this now? How is this connected to anything?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:56 am

This is a celebration! Of Musicals!!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20132:58 am

But could they not have had somebody singing an actual song from Les Mis live instead? Or somebody nominated for something this year singing? This feels completely out of place.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20132:58 am

Apparently just involving people from musicals singing songs from the musicals they were in. I was expecting a medley of some kind

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:01 am

I was about to say it feels more like the Tonys than the Oscars at the moment, but the Tonys are generally more fun than this bit.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:01 am

Now we get some Les Mis singing

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:01 am

Now this bit I can get behind.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:02 am

Maybe a giant animatronic Anne Hathaway face

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:03 am

It must be annoying to spend hours getting ready in your carefully chosen dress and then having to change into something else to sing a few lines and then change back again.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:04 am

Glad to see Eddie Redmayne has survived his BAFTA food poisoning.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:05 am

And the public shaming Sally Field gave him afterwards

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:05 am

They’ll need a lot of seat filler people in the audience right now with so many stars on stage.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:05 am

Helena BC does not look happy to be there

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:05 am

I see empty seats!!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:10 am

You guys sleeping are missing out of a more reliable power source for cameras

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:11 am

John Wilkes Booth is trending on Twitter thanks to a joke Seth MacFarlane made earlier. That’s something I thought I’d never see be a trending topic.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:12 am

Best Achievement in Sound Mixing
Nominees:
Argo (2012): John T. Reitz, Gregg Rudloff, José Antonio García
Les Misérables (2012): Andy Nelson, Mark Paterson, Simon Hayes
Life of Pi (2012): Ron Bartlett, Doug Hemphill, Drew Kunin
Lincoln (2012): Andy Nelson, Gary Rydstrom, Ron Judkins
Skyfall (2012): Scott Millan, Greg P. Russell, Stuart Wilson

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:13 am

Why is #glush trending!?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:13 am

And Les Misérables takes the Oscar

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:15 am

Best Achievement in Sound Editing
Nominees:
Argo (2012): Erik Aadahl, Ethan Van der Ryn
Django Unchained (2012): Wylie Stateman
Life of Pi (2012): Eugene Gearty, Philip Stockton
Skyfall (2012): Per Hallberg, Karen M. Baker
Zero Dark Thirty (2012): Paul N.J. Ottosson

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:15 am

I hardly ever use the Twitter actual website – what are “tailored trends”? Surely if they’re tailored to me they aren’t actually things that are being tweeted about the most?

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:15 am

Oooooooooooooo a TIE!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:16 am

The first winner is Zero Dark Thiry

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:17 am

Do ties happen often at the Oscars? How will we know which has the best sound editing?

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:17 am

The reaction to the announcement it was a tie makes me think it doesn’t happen often at all.

They should announce a 9 way tie for Best Picture and see what happens.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:18 am

Skyfall gets the second. That will please Zane and chums

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:19 am

“Glush
A Canadian Twitter party centered around an awards show. Hashtagged with #glush, anyone can join this drinking game. A bad toast, a bad dress, or a drink on camera and everyone enjoys a digital toast, knocking one back at home, together in spirit. Digital party FTW!”

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:20 am

A Nazi just ran into the theatre to make a Sound of Music reference.

I kid you not

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:21 am

The Sessions is the only film with an acting nomination that I didn’t get around to seeing.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:21 am

And everyone juts laughed at the idea of Christopher Plummer making 30 more films. “He’ll be dead before then, ha!”

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:22 am

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Nominees:
Amy Adams for The Master (2012)
Sally Field for Lincoln (2012)
Anne Hathaway for Les Misérables (2012)
Helen Hunt for The Sessions (2012)
Jacki Weaver for Silver Linings Playbook (2012)

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:22 am

You missed Helen Hunt’s “brave” performance. You saw her downstairs and everything

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:23 am

And the Oscar goes to… Anne Hathaway

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:26 am

They’re getting ice cream! I want ice cream.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:26 am

Actually I think we have some mini Magnums in the freezer.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:29 am

I’m pretty sure Russell Crowe didn’t tweet using the hashtag #skymoviesoscars even though they just displayed it on screen as if he did.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:29 am

I know feel sick after eating my donuts

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:31 am

I don’t know what is happening now. I need a nap

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:32 am

It was the pre-requisite Old Man Interlude. Stay with it!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:32 am

That was meant to be a supportive message, not an accusatory one which is more how it came out.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:33 am

Best Achievement in Editing
Nominees:
Argo (2012): William Goldenberg
Life of Pi (2012): Tim Squyres
Lincoln (2012): Michael Kahn
Silver Linings Playbook (2012): Jay Cassidy, Crispin Struthers
Zero Dark Thirty (2012): William Goldenberg, Dylan Tichenor

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:34 am

Lincoln cannot win this because IT WAS NOT EDITED

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:34 am

And the Oscar goes to Argo for editing together different genres of film

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:35 am

By the way, apparently the earlier tie was only the third tie in Oscar history.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:35 am

If a nominee is three or less votes behind the winner, a tie is declared and the Academy will award two Oscars, one to each nominee. This has happened only two times in the history of the Academy Awards.

1968: Barbara Steisand (Funny Girl) and Katherine Hepburn (The Lion in Winter) tied for Best Actress. This is the only exact tie in Academy history.

1931/32: Fredric March (Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde) and Wallace Beery (The Champ) tied for Best Actor. They differed by one vote.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:36 am

Were the other ties in more interesting categories?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:36 am

Good facts!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:37 am

This song makes me want Jaina’s apple crumble.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:38 am

I’m not sure about Adele’s backing singers. Not least because their trouser’s are 3/4 length

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:42 am

I’ve just read that there actually have been ties in the Best Documentary category and also Best Short Film so that other website that told me this is only the third time in history was lying.

Also apparently the rules have now been updated and it has to be an exact tie, none of this “within 3” nonsense.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:43 am

Do you trust your new source?

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:44 am

Yes – http://awardsdatabase.oscars.org/ampas_awards/help/statistics/Gen-Ties.pdf

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:45 am

Three more best film nominees being introduced: Silver Linings Playbook, Django Unchained, and Amour.

Silver Linings Playbooks for me of these three.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:47 am

Me too – I’m not sure what makes it more Oscar material than other romance films (I’m assuming mental illness) but it was definitely the most enjoyable of the three.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:48 am

It has mental illnesses all over the shop and a woman who lost her husband in the war.

I love any film that ends with a dance number

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:48 am

Is Kristen Stewart having trouble walking? She looks like she’s snapped her heel or something.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:49 am

Kristen Stewart and Dan Radcliffe are both quite awkward people

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:49 am

Best Achievement in Production Design
Nominees:
Anna Karenina (2012/I): Sarah Greenwood, Katie Spencer
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012): Dan Hennah, Ra Vincent, Simon Bright
Les Misérables (2012): Eve Stewart, Anna Lynch-Robinson
Life of Pi (2012): David Gropman, Anna Pinnock
Lincoln (2012): Rick Carter, Jim Erickson

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:49 am

Dan Rad nearly knocked the microphone over there!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:49 am

Lincoln gets its first Oscar

Tim Monday, 25th February 20133:53 am

Are they applauding the men getting the award or Salma Hayek for pronouncing all their names properly?

Rach Monday, 25th February 20133:53 am

Probably a bit of both.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:03 am

Currently at the In Memoriam part of the show. Streisand has just appeared to sing Memories

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:03 am

I went hunting for more snacks and came back with a bag of cherry tomatoes just in time for the death segment.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:04 am

Oddly they did the montage before Babs started singing

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:08 am

Woman person cleverly chose to back a film whose music is not nominated

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:10 am

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Score
Nominees:
Anna Karenina (2012/I): Dario Marianelli
Argo (2012): Alexandre Desplat
Life of Pi (2012): Mychael Danna
Lincoln (2012): John Williams
Skyfall (2012): Thomas Newman

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:11 am

Life of Pi is by far the most distinct score

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:12 am

And the Oscar goes to Mychael Danna for Life of Pi.

Good spelling of Michael there Mr Danna.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:12 am

It really is – I went to watch the best song nominees on YouTube last weekend and as soon as the Pi song started playing it reminded me of the whole score from the film. And film scores aren’t usually things that stick with me.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:12 am

Tell you what, if Life of Pi wins the big awards I will be very happy

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:13 am

Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song
Nominees:
Chasing Ice (2012): J. Ralph(“Before My Time”)
Les Misérables (2012): Alain Boublil, Claude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer(“Suddenly”)
Life of Pi (2012): Mychael Danna, Bombay Jayshree(“Pi’s Lullaby”)
Skyfall (2012): Adele, Paul Epworth(“Skyfall”)
Ted (2012): Walter Murphy, Seth MacFarlane(“Everybody Needs a Best Friend”)

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:14 am

Scarlett Johansson sang Before My Time for Chasing Ice.

Odd

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:15 am

Then again she did release an album made up entirely of Tom Waites covers

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:15 am

When I watched that clip I was convinced the person who posted it had just stuck her name into the description to get hits until she started singing.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:17 am

I thought Adele was taking her handbag with her but she was just gathering her skirt. I wish she’d been taking her bag, it would have been funnier.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:17 am

Johansson was no match for Adele who picks up the Oscar for Skyfall or “Crumble” as it is now known

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:18 am

I like to call it “Dis is De End”

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:22 am

BAffleck can moan all he likes about not being nominated for best director but Argo has nothing on the flair of Life of Pi

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:23 am

It’s still only 8.30 in LA. I can’t imagine the BAFTAs being over at 9.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:24 am

At least the Oscars are aired live

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:25 am

Best Writing, Screenplay Based on Material Previously Produced or Published
Nominees:
Argo (2012): Chris Terrio
Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012): Lucy Alibar, Benh Zeitlin
Life of Pi (2012): David Magee
Lincoln (2012): Tony Kushner
Silver Linings Playbook (2012): David O. Russell

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:25 am

Chris Terrio gets it for Argo

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:27 am

Best Writing, Screenplay Written Directly for the Screen
Nominees:
Amour (2012): Michael Haneke
Django Unchained (2012): Quentin Tarantino
Flight (2012/I): John Gatins
Moonrise Kingdom (2012): Wes Anderson, Roman Coppola
Zero Dark Thirty (2012): Mark Boal

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:27 am

It would be fun for Moonrise Kingdom to win

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:28 am

The Oscar goes to Tarantino for Django Unchained

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:28 am

I was just going to say I was rooting for Moonrise Kingdom. Bloody Tarantino. I just don’t like his face.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:28 am

All those racial slurs paid off

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:30 am

I think this means we just have the big four awards left. I think and I hope

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:31 am

Good, because I’ve just put a hot water bottle in my bed. It should be the perfect temperature if I get up there in about half an hour…

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:34 am

Best Achievement in Directing
Nominees:
Michael Haneke for Amour (2012)
Ang Lee for Life of Pi (2012)
David O. Russell for Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Steven Spielberg for Lincoln (2012)
Benh Zeitlin for Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012)

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:35 am

A deserved win for Ang Lee. Lots of cheers from the crowd

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:36 am

Definitely deserved, would certainly have been my choice if I were a member of the Academy!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:39 am

I think her nomination has gone to Quvenzhané Wallis’ head

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:40 am

She’s milking it!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:41 am

I want Katniss to win but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s Mary Berry.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:42 am

Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Nominees:
Jessica Chastain for Zero Dark Thirty (2012)
Jennifer Lawrence for Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Emmanuelle Riva for Amour (2012)
Quvenzhané Wallis for Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012)
Naomi Watts for The Impossible (2012)

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:42 am

It could even be Quvenzhané for the novelty aspect

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:44 am

Woop!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:44 am

Naomi Watts and her bloody boob

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:44 am

And the Oscar goes to Jennifer Lawrence making my future wife an Oscar winner!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:45 am

Standing ovation!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:45 am

Look how pleased Bradley Cooper is for her!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:45 am

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:46 am

Was Meryl pulling her dress out of her bum there?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:46 am

MERYL!!!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:46 am

Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Nominees:
Bradley Cooper for Silver Linings Playbook (2012)
Daniel Day-Lewis for Lincoln (2012)
Hugh Jackman for Les Misérables (2012)
Joaquin Phoenix for The Master (2012)
Denzel Washington for Flight (2012/I)

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:46 am

I think she was pulling her dress from beneath her foot

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:47 am

I think in any other year Joaquin or Denzel would walk this but against Day-Lewis they don’t stand a chance.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:47 am

SO Daniel Day-Lewis right?

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:47 am

They never think through the whole walking thing when they pick these dresses.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:48 am

Joaquin was incredible in The Master so it’s a shame he has no chance

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:49 am

Haha! Meryl does the best announcing. She didn’t even pause!

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:49 am

And the Oscar goes to… Daniel Day Lewis

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:50 am

Funny man

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:51 am

I would laugh if they started playing the Jaws music because he’d wasted his speech time on jokes and the audience laughing. Which obviously they wouldn’t do for this category but still.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:51 am

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:52 am

Here we go…

Best Motion Picture of the Year
Nominees:
Amour (2012): Margaret Ménégoz, Stefan Arndt, Veit Heiduschka, Michael Katz
Argo (2012): Grant Heslov, Ben Affleck, George Clooney
Beasts of the Southern Wild (2012): Dan Janvey, Josh Penn, Michael Gottwald
Django Unchained (2012): Stacey Sher, Reginald Hudlin, Pilar Savone
Les Misérables (2012): Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner, Debra Hayward, Cameron Mackintosh
Life of Pi (2012): Gil Netter, Ang Lee, David Womark
Lincoln (2012): Steven Spielberg, Kathleen Kennedy
Silver Linings Playbook (2012): Donna Gigliotti, Bruce Cohen, Jonathan Gordon
Zero Dark Thirty (2012): Mark Boal, Kathryn Bigelow, Megan Ellison

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:54 am

And the Oscar goes to… Michelle Obama’s fringe

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:54 am

I think I want Argo to win. I’d be perfectly happy with Life of Pi too though, but I think of all of them Argo was the one that kept my attention all the way through and entertained me the most.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:55 am

I enjoyed Argo but have lots of issues with it

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:56 am

And the Oscar goes to… Argo

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:57 am

At least this means my record is intact for seeing the Best Film Oscar winner at the London Film Festival

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:57 am

I have no such record.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:58 am

I don’t think Ben Affleck would have a problem with thanking himself.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:58 am

Tim Monday, 25th February 20134:59 am

Not with that sincere and angry look on his face

Rach Monday, 25th February 20134:59 am

Did he just basically say being married to Jennifer Garner is a bit of a chore?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20135:00 am

Tim Monday, 25th February 20135:00 am

Being married is work

Rach Monday, 25th February 20135:01 am

I’ve read too many blind items that are allegedly about the two of them, I’m reading too much into everything he says.

Rach Monday, 25th February 20135:04 am

They’re delaying the closing number on Sky so that Zane can finish his waffle. Don’t tell me we’re not going to get to see it.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20135:04 am

Lincoln should have been less smug in the endless ads we had to watch tonight

Tim Monday, 25th February 20135:06 am

He seemed to be filling time, but for what?

Tim Monday, 25th February 20135:09 am

And with that slightly odd montage the Oscars are done for another year. No real surprises, apart from Best Actress perhaps, but then no undeserved wins either.

Tim Monday, 25th February 20135:10 am

Bed!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20135:10 am

I don’t even care if the closing number was just Kristin Chenoweth singing a song, we should have been shown it!

Rach Monday, 25th February 20135:10 am

I’m meeting a friend for coffee at lunchtime, that was a stupid idea. BED.