Out Now – 5th April 2013

Disney's Spring Breakers

Dark Skies
Pretty standard horror fare in which a family discover that a dark force is after them. This film is the reason that creepy young boy has been staring at you from the side of buses while suffering from a nose bleed. Get that boy a tissue!

Spring Breakers
Harmony Korine’s last film as writer/director was 2009’s Trash Humpers in which a group of foul old persons hump trash. Somehow I predict that this new film about bikini clad young women exploring a life of crime while on spring break is going to be a lot more popular.

A Late Quartet
A string quartet falls apart in a drama I called “truly mediocre … offers little relief from endless bitterness and infighting”.

The Odd Life of Timothy Green
“A childless couple bury a box in their backyard, containing all of their wishes for an infant. Soon, a child is born, though Timothy Green is not all that he appears.” As someone whose friends have started to pop out babies I can tell you that this is not how babies are made, though admittedly it involves infinitely more bodily fluids than a U certificate allows.

All Things to All Men
“A thief is caught up in a deadly game of cat-and-mouse between a maverick cop and London crime boss.” If someone asks you to play a deadly game of cat-and-mouse just say no. The chance of death is way too high and they don’t even specify the prize.

The Expatriate (limited release)
Oh dear. Aaron Eckhart appears to have entered the Liam Neeson stage of his career and has lowered his standards to play a former CIA-agent on the run in a film requiring him to hold a gun bizarrely close to his face in the poster.

Papadopoulos & Sons (limited release)
British comedy about two brothers reuniting to reopen a fish and chip shop. Fish will be fried and hearts will be warmed.

Thursday Till Sunday (limited release)
“Two children travel with their parents from Santiago Chile to the north of Chile for a family holiday. The landscape’s loneliness and the car’s confinement help bring out the couple’s troubles and the children learn that this might turn out to be their father’s farewell and their last family vacation.”