Out Now – 10th May 2013

Beat Girl

Star Trek Into Darkness
The first Star Trek film (OK, not the first but the first of this batch) was all very shiny and amusing but didn’t really get me excited. This sequel is probably much the same. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen it. I was too busy watching Beat Girl.

Our Children
French drama about an overpowering patriarch and a family who live with him and subsequently fall apart. Grim stuff probably happens. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen it. I was too busy watching Beat Girl.

The Reluctant Fundamentalist
“A young Pakistani man is chasing corporate success on Wall Street. He finds himself embroiled in a conflict between his American Dream, a hostage crisis, and the enduring call of his family’s homeland.” I saw this way back in October and yet still haven’t reviewed it. I was too busy watching Beat Girl.

A Hijacking (limited release)
A Danish ship is boarded by Somali pirates. Things most likely do not go well for all on board as the film gets harrowing and tense. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen it. I was too busy watching Beat Girl.

Village at the End of the World (limited release)
A documentary about a small village in Northern Greenland that sounds like it would be both touching and amusing. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen it. I was too busy watching Beat Girl.

Deadfall (limited release)
Two siblings fend for themselves after a casino heist goes wrong. For some reason they reunite at another family’s Thanksgiving dinner. I’m sure that makes sense if you see the film. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen it. I was too busy watching Beat Girl.

Go Goa Gone (limited release)
A Bollywood zombie comedy with a title like Go Goa Gone can only be harmless fun. I assume. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen it. I was too busy watching Beat Girl.

Mud (limited release)
Add soil and water and what do you get? A drama starring Matthew McConaughey as a fugitive searching for his true love while evading bounty hunters. Other critics think this film is great. I wouldn’t know, I haven’t seen it. I was too busy watching Beat Girl.

Journey to Italy (limited re-release)
Re-release of an Ingrid Bergman drama from the 1950s. Ah, a time when there was no Beat Girl wasting everybody’s time.

Beat Girl (limited release)
I found time to see this “romantic” “comedy” about a young woman who loses her mother and takes it out on an unsuspecting public when she takes up DJing. Don’t see the film, read my Beat Girl review instead.