It’s Eurovision day! Time to gather a group of friends, buy a box of vodkas, and crowd round the TV to watch the bizarre and the bland compete for the title of Très Bon Chanteur Spectaculaire or whatever the title is. Political voting will be even more fun to watch what with the EU bailouts and whatnot but what is more important is whether anyone can top Russia’s baking grannies from last year.
To help you enjoy yourselves I have put together a plan to help you recreate the Eurovision voting process in your own home so that your party can better handle the voting part of the evening once all the songs have been sung and vodkas have been drunk. I’ve even made you a spreadsheet because a party without a spreadsheet is like a boat without a rubber duck; clearly not an essential but why not eh?
So. Before you turn on BBC One at 8:00PM give everyone who will be voting 26 small pieces of card or paper. You can either allow each person to write the names of the countries themselves or print off one of the BBC’s scoring sheets and cut out each country. Then when the show is on each voter or “party-goer” can place the countries in order from best to worst based on whatever metric they like. Last year we tried to rank as a group as we went along which lead to arguments over whether a song should be “good” or simply be “Eurovision”. I personally don’t care what you sing if you’ve got a man operating a unicycle on stilts in the background.
Once all songs have been performed everyone then makes sure they are happy with their personal ranking and perhaps hilariously messes up their neighbour’s notes/scraps of paper before apologising and blaming the drink. After this it is time to collate the votes. To the spreadsheet!! Click on the Excel symbol to the right and within moments you will have your very own Mild Concern Eurovision 2013 Party Score Collation Spreadsheet for Maximum Fun and Mathematical AccuracyTM.
It is all pretty self-explanatory, I hope, but here’s a quick guide. When you first open the spreadhseet make sure you have macros enabled. If you see a warning like this…
…deal with it.
The first thing you see with be an empty white box. Type in the first voter’s name and hit Enter, then continue until you can see everyone’s name in the list. If someone goes to the loo at this point and is pretty forgettable they may be in trouble. Once you’re done click on the grey button.
Now you are at the heart of the spreadsheet. The table to the left will show you which country is winning based on your party’s votes and the table on the right is where everyone enters their scores. When prompted each person should list their top ten countries to the group, preferably with reasons and some slurring, while the Spreadsheet MasterTM uses the drop-down lists to put these countries into the table Once all ten are entered the voter should verify the list, salute the Spreadsheet MasterTM (optional), and they will hit the “Submit Scores” button which will…. submit the scores (I told you it was self-explanatory).
Once everyone has voted you will have your winner! What mathematically accurate fun we’ve all had in replicating the voting process of the Eurovision Song Contest. If only all parties had spreadsheets…