Out Now – 31st May 2013

Byzantium

The Big Wedding
A slightly bizarre group of American actors gather for our pleasure to present us with a wedding comedy. The (other) critics have universally panned it so I wouldn’t bother if I were you. I got my fill of Robin Williams as a comedy vicar in License to Wed.

The Purge
In the future Americans are allowed twelve hours every year to do whatever they want as emergency services shut down and all laws are abandoned. A wealthy family is terrorised in their own home after allowing in the target of a masked gang. People in masks tend me make me crap myself so this may well be good fun.

The Comedian (limited release)
This inward looking character drama is not for everyone but it was for me. That makes me better than you right? (I only say this so that if you don’t like it you can’t come complaining to me)

Byzantium (limited release)
Some say this is a feminist vampire film. Some say this is a sexy vampire film. I say a prostitute killing men and drinking their blood as she fight the patriarchy sounds like the perfect blend of the two. Though obviously I will be watching and admiring Gemma Arterton as a strong independent woman and not because she’s running around in a corset. Honest.

Man to Man (ICA only)
Tilda Swinton stars as a German woman posing as a man in what seems to be an episode of a TV series from 20 years ago that is now screening at London’s most pretentious/awesome cinema. Buy your tickets here.

Populaire (limited release)
Every time I see the poster for this French comedy I think it stars Matt Bomer who co-stars in my Magic Mike gif. Turns out it’s actually a Frenchie called Romain Duris.

Everybody Has a Plan (limited release)
Viggo Mortensen stars as a man who impersonates his own cousin in Argentina. Turns out Viggo speaks Spanish having lived in Argentina for ten years of his childhood. Who knew!? I wonder who plans his twin…

Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani (limited release)
Bollywood film in which a man and woman love each other very much and sing about it. Probably.

Blood (limited release)
“Thriller charting the moral collapse of a police family.” Yes! Finally a thriller not afraid to use charts to tell the story. I reckon it looks similar to the below:

Morality