Out Now – 2nd August 2013

The Smurfering

The Smurfs 2
When seeing Monsters University this week I was forced to watch a trailer for this in which a grey smurf told me through song that she was Vexy and that she knew it. It was a painful experience I would hate to stretch out to over an hour and a half.

The Heat
Sandra Bullock as an FBI Agent in an action comedy. I’m having painful flashbacks to Miss Congeniality. Never again!

Red 2
If you find the idea of old people doing a bit of running and then shooting things appealing but have watched Red too many times to enjoy it anymore then this is the film for you. For everyone else… well… even Bruce Willis doesn’t care.

The Conjuring
A good old-fashioned ghost story that is supposed to be genuinely scary. Considering I am easily spooked, and am currently being terrorised by the squirrel that lives in my bin, this film is likely to make me jump and scream multiple times. Precisely what you want from a horror.

Only God Forgives
Forget the super charming Ryan Gosling we have all come to know and love, we are returning to super violent Ryan Gosling who is just as likely to stamp on your skull as he is to give you a crooked smile. If this is half as good as Drive I will be pleased. Well… maybe a little better wouldn’t hurt.

Heaven’s Gate (limited re-release)
33 years after its initial release and Heaven’s Gate has been moved from an X certificate (essentially an 18 despite what an X might seem to imply) to a 15. Turns out “strong violence, sexual violence, sexualised nudity and language” just isn’t so shocking any more.

Paradise: Hope (limited release)
The third in Ulrich Seidl’s trilogy of Paradise films is here with just as little fanfare as the others.

From Up on Poppy Hill (limited release)
The latest from Studio Ghibli tells the story of the lead in to the 1964 Tokyo Olympics and two young teens who fight to save their school’s clubhouse from being knocked down. This is what the synopsis says anyway, the trailer is all about flags.

My Father and the Man in Black (limited release)
The untold story of Johnny Cash as told by his manager’s son. I hope his son knew Cash well because I would suck at making a documentary about anyone my dad manages.