Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters
Some young whipper snapper called Percy Jackson meddles in Greek mythology to find the Golden Fleece. While a fleece made of gold may seem like a great idea it sounds very impractical to me. Nathan Fillion and Anthony Head both have roles in the films so nerds be warned.
Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa
Alan Partridge in a siege movie. Either those six words make you want to grab your big plate and head on down to the cinema ASAP or you are dead inside. With the disappointment of The World’s End we need a big British comedy to wow us this summer.
Bollywood’s finest Shah Rukh Khan stars as a man. A man who finds love on his long journey to scatter his Father’s ashes. His Father having recently died. I presume.
The Lone Ranger
The classic story of the Lone Ranger and Tonto that I am all but completely ignorant of. This film has generated a lot of press over the film makers complaining about the film having generated a lot of press over the film being awful and being set to lose hundreds of millions of dollars. Disney did not invite us to see the film so we are just going to sulk in the corner and assume that the film is indeed terrible.
Grown Ups 2
Adam Sandler. David Spade. Kevin James. Chris Rock. No. No. No. No.
Silence (limited release)
A sound recordist explores Ireland to try to record areas free from man-made sound. Along the way he meets various people and uncovers a deep profound silence of some kind. This could be beautiful or pretentious, I’m hoping it’s both.
Foxfire (limited release)
“Set in the 1950s, a group of young girls in upstate New York form their own gang.” I predict much hair pulling and face scratching. Bloody women!
Looking for Hortense (limited release)
Kristin Scott Thomas is French once more as a wife who “pressures her husband to solicit work papers from his civil servant father.” Bloody women!