Out Now – 7th March 2014


300: Rise of an Empire
I didn’t see 300! This is a sequel to 300! I am out of my depth! As usual! Strong bloody violence! Strong sex! Sexual violence!

The Grand Budapest Hotel
I have a huge, unapologetic, hipster love for Wes Anderson and his films. I love them all and don’t care if they aren’t varied enough for you. His films are there for me when you aren’t, you bastard. This is the story of a legendary concierge played by Voldemort Ralph Fiennes told through many decades and aspect ratios. My top pick for this weekend in case you were wondering.

Escape from Planet Earth
Aliens come to Earth following a distress signal and are captured by evil humans. Now they must escape… from planet Earth. A nice U certificate film for anyone who can’t cope with the strong sex in 300 or the strong twee in The Grand Budapest Hotel.

US thriller with a cast including Harrison Ford (grumbly), Gary Oldman (respected), Amber Heard (attractive AND talented), and Liam Hemsworth (attractive AND talented?) that must surely be getting a wide release. Surely! Oh… one London venue. Good luck finding it.

Danny Trejo plays Danny Trejo as a tough cop who takes the law into his own hands in order to rescue his kidnapped grandson. When you take the law into your own hands it often gets broken. Poor fragile law.

Rome, Open City
The BFI are re-releasing another classic (who do they think they are, some kind of national institution for celebrating cinema?) this time a 1945 Italian war drama. COnsidering the year it was made I imagine this is quite a hard-hitting film.

Wake in Fright
Another re-release. Australian 70s drama in which a man goes into the outback and gets drunk.

Total Chaos
London-centric Bollywood farce. I think. Apparently a lot of the humour comes from a potential suitor turning out to be Pakistani rather than Indian. I’m not sure I can laugh at this comedy without seeming racist. Or maybe if I don’t laugh that makes me racist… Uhoh.