Good films, bad films, foreign films and gross films. It’s a busy week for films this week. Go and see any that take your fancy this weekend so that you’re good and ready for Wednesday, after which I’m going to need to think of something new to blog about. We’re all excited about Burlesque right? No?
The Human Centipede (First Sequence)
Ever wanted to see three people stitched together in a chain so that they share a digestive system? I know, right? Haven’t we all? Luckily we don’t wait any more! Don’t forget this film is 100% medically accurate… like most other films.
Piranha
I’m a sucker for a good horror but this seems little more than an excuse for gore and boobs and I’d hate to endorse that. I’m also against 3D films finding them lacking the necessary thrill for the extra cost. Regardless if you were to see this horror in 3D I will be queuing up with you. 3D horror is way up on my list of most enjoyable cinema experiences; things will fly in your face and whether they be boobs or gores it’s all pretty awesome.
Salt
A spy goes on the run after being accused of being a spy. Wait… an American spy is accused of being a Russian spy! Maybe. Certainly well timed what with all the Russian spies being uncovered in America. The question is, who is Salt? The answer presumably is Angelina Jolie, if not let me know.
The Illusionist (limited release)
A British/French animation following a magician who visits a small community and shares a connection with a young girl. It all sounds charming to be honest.
Mother (limited release)
A Korean mother kicks up a right fuss in the criminal community while trying to find out who framed her mentally handicapped son for the murder of a young girl. Sounds… foreign.
Pianomania (limited release)
It’s a documentary about a piano tuner trying to find the perfect pitch! And it’s foreign! Could be a contender for least mainstream film of the week.
