Infrequently Asked Questions 2013

Michael Fassbender Pianist

Following the success of last year’s Infrequently Asked Questions I have decided to repeat the exercise in the hopes of satisfying lost Googlers. The concept is simple, I trawl through all the search terms from 2013 that lead to this site and answer any questions people had that they would not have found the answer to on Mild Concern. The only questions I will ignore are people looking for various actors in a state of undress; there is a limit to what I will do for hits.

As with last year the most popular search query was people searching for nude pictures of Michael Fassbender, pictures that sound very similar to how you might describe the above picture… For the full stats on that particular search term see the pie chart at the end of this post.

Did the actors play their instruments in A Late Quartet? The cast studied their instruments to at least look like they were playing them but no, it is not their playing that you hear in the film.

Anyone know the sunglasses Giovanni Ribisi wore in Gangster Squad? Not entirely sure but he is the face of Barton Perreira eyewear. Apparently.

Are there snakes in The Hunger Games? Look carefully in the credits and you’ll find Jonwilder Lee Bartlett credited as “snake wrangler”. But can I remember any snakes? No.

Does After Porn Ends show nudity? Yes. You all asked this last year. IT IS A FILM ABOUT PORN STARS!!!

Does Claire wear a wig in Lost? Not at first but in flashbacks she certainly does and from memory she wears one on the island in later years. Sometimes an actress cuts her hair. Things happen.

How much swearing is in Philomena? Let’s ask the BBFC: “There are two uses of strong language (‘f**k’). Milder language includes the terms ‘bloody’, ‘crap’; ‘fecking’, ‘shit’, ‘shite’ and ‘tits’.”

How much of Philomena is based on fact? Most of it. Philomena is a real woman who was forced to give up her son and did not mention it for fifty years. She was also helped by Martin Sixsmith and they did indeed discover the thing that they discovered in the film. (No spoilers here.) The only thing that was fabricated was that in real life Philomena did not make the trip to America with Martin but followed his progress through phone calls.

Do you need to see Avengers Assemble before seeing Thor: The Dark World? Not really no. So long as you know that Thor is from another world, has an evil brother, and pines for Natalie Portman who is living on Earth then you’re all set.

Natalie Portman Thor wellies? Not so much a question but an oddly frequent request. Here you go perverts:

Portman Wellies

Do you like Doctor Who? Yes thanks, as does Kat, but we didn’t care much for the latest Christmas special. Stephen loathes it though if you’d prefer a balanced view.

Why do people like Doctor Who so much? It is scary, funny, and has a lot of heart. Also, Jenna Coleman is hot.

I don’t get Doctor Who He’s a centuries old alien who travels through time in a spaceship the shape of a police telephone box. The box is massive on the inside and he only has a limited number of lives which was recently reset due to receiving new regeneration energy via a rift in space from his home plant. He likes to travel with an assistant who is normally young, female, attractive and human. What’s not to get?

What is premise of How I Met Your Mother? I’ll take this slow for you. A man. Is telling his kids. How he met their mother. Admittedly he takes his sweet time but it’s not that hard to understand. Maybe they confused you by writing the title in the second person?

Is Lily in How I Met Your Mother bisexual? From the HIMYM wiki: “Lily could be bisexual, this could be proven as she said in one episode that she wants to have a lesbian experience, and that she told Robin she had a great ass. She also admitted to having some romantic dreams about Robin. It stated that whenever she drink martinis she wants to make out with Robin and she has dreams about her when she’s pregnant.”

What are Tim Burton’s Batman movies? Batman and Batman Returns. Now let me introduce you to IMDb, it will save us both some time.

Was The Strangers movie connected to The Cabin in the Woods? Not any more than every other horror film ever made. In many ways The Cabin in the Woods provides an alternative way to watch The Strangers in a non-canon way and those masks are awfully similar…

The Cabin in the Woods The Strangers

What team does Nicholas Hoult support? You asked this last year and I still don’t know. I have tweeted him to ask so we’ll just have to wait and see.

Where does Nicholas Hoult stay at in California? How would I know and why do you care? Stop trying to stalk Nicholas Hoult and get yourself a nice boyfriend instead.

What’s new pussycat? Not much thanks.

What’s the film called that was released on boxing day in 2012? How specific! Grabbers, Jack Reacher, Midnight’s Children, Parental Guidance, Safety Not Guaranteed, and Zaytoun.

What has happened to Cameron Crowe? Since you asked last year he has written and directed a film starring Emma Stone, Bradley Cooper, and Rachel McAdams. I’m hoping for another Almost Famous and not another We Bought a Zoo.

What certificate is Pulp Fiction? 18 for strong violence, sex references and hard drug use.

Who did Jon Cryer play in Clarissa Explains it AllHe was never in it but a lot of people seem to think he looks like a grown up Ferguson.

Who are Matt Smith’s parents? There’s a Doctor Who pun to be had but I will ignore it. You can find his mum on Twitter, she likes “all things Fabulous”.

Who is Edgar Wright dating? Not Anna Kendrick. That’s as deep as my knowledge goes.

Social concern about Jurassic Park? Well the first thing to worry about is the misuse of science. The second is OH MY GOD THE DINOSAURS ARE ALIVE AND TRYING TO EAT MY FACE!!!

Rupert Grint’s acting ability? On average about 6.32 out of 10. Source

rupert grint chart

Why is David Cameron such a prick? His upbringing perhaps? Or something to do with having to live with that face 24/7.

Why does Mama DVD have no extras? They’ve put them all on the Blu-Ray to try to make you buy that instead. That aside the film is AWFUL so why are you even buying it?

He loves me he loves me not He loves you!

Is there an alpha gibbon? Yes.

Dancing as a metaphore for freedom in 1984 Footloose First of all that is not how you spell metaphor. Second of all… yes. Footloose is clearly a subtle adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984.

Is Simon Bird in Plebs? No. The lead actor is Tom Rosenthal who stars in Friday Night Dinner with Simon Bird so you were close.

Lead female in Philomena? Seriously?! Who is the lead in Philomena?! Dame Judi Dench you ignorant fool!

Movie with yellow Volkswagen Well Little Miss Sunshine and Footloose both feature a prominent yellow VW. Were either of those what you were thinking?

When is Me Myself and Mum in general release in the UK? Still no idea which is a shame as it was the best film I saw last year. You can get it on DVD though.

Who was Andy Dick’s character in Laputa: Castle in the Sky? He voiced Henri. For future reference let me introduce you to the Internet Movie Database. You’ll love it.

I thought I’d finish by answering a question nobody asked; just what proportion of search terms related to Michael Fassbender’s appendage? The answer is below:

And The Doctor Is….

The-Doctor

Peter Capaldi!

The last person I expected it to be precisely because he was the bookmakers favourite. Back before Matt Smith was announced in 2009 the favourite was Paterson Joseph from Peep Show and instead we got a young white guy with big ears/hair/chin.

I was planning to use this post to introduce you to whatever obscure actor had been passed the sonic screwdriver shaped baton but as it’s Peter Capaldi… do I have to?

Most known for his role as the truly iconic Malcolm Tucker in The Thick of It Capaldi does have a bit of a history in the world of Doctor Who having played the role of Caecilius in 2008 episode The Fires of Pompeii alongside a pre-companion Karen Gillan. Capaldi also played John Frobisher in the only good series of Torchwood in 2009 when aliens demand the Earth’s children. The series was called Torchwood: Children of Earth and was genuinely gripping and featured a below average amount of John Barrowman – these two facts may be related.

Peter Capaldi is an excellent actor and while his casting may not be the big shocker I was expecting it is undeniably a good choice and though I will miss the excitable Matt Smith I look forward to Capaldi stepping up this Christmas.

And as we get to keep Jenna-Louise Coleman the dads (and film bloggers) will be kept happy.

Doctor Who Series 6 DVD Review

There was a time when the idea of owning even a single episode of Doctor Who on DVD would have been laughable. For me the series was a bit of fun but nothing worth dwelling on, certainly not worth revisiting or spending money to own. This all changed the day Steven Moffat took over the reins and brought in Matt Smith as The Doctor. Suddenly the series had an extra level of quality and complexity to it. Finally I understood what people had been going on about and finally I had found my Doctor.

While series 5 was the best the show had ever been with a finale that made every episode worth a re-watch as new information came to light, series 6 was slightly less awe-inspiring but remains a funny, scary and downright brilliant piece of TV.

The box set starts off on a strong footing with last year’s Christmas special A Christmas Carol which will be hard to beat this year and which I raved about last December. The rest of the series never quite matched the joy of this special and covers The Doctor’s potential demise, the battle against The Silence, one mysterious pregnancy and a classic sci-fi plot twist involving the identity of River Song.

Without a doubt this is the best Doctor Who cast and crew there has ever been. Steven Moffat is the best writer, Matt Smith is the best Doctor, Karen Gillan is the best companion and Arthur Darvill is the best husband of a companion. I love them all to pieces.

The DVDs certainly don’t skimp when it comes to the extras. Some episodes come with either short teaser prequels or commentaries but these are not what get me excited. Exclusive (possibly) to the DVD are five extra Night And The Doctor scenes which show what goes on in the TARDIS in between episodes. It was lovely to see Amy and The Doctor share a quiet moment and The Doctor struggle to juggle three different versions of River Song as they each turn up unannounced. These are complemented by the Comic Relief sketches in which the TARDIS lands within itself, caused by a short skirt and a glass floor and resulting in Amy flirting with herself.

The only place these DVDs let themselves down is with the inclusion of Doctor Who Confidential. Confidential is the complimentary TV series looking in-depth at the filming of each episode, a series I love and which was tragically cancelled at the end of this series. What the DVD does wrong is to cut these down to 10 minutes from their original 40, so much footage has been left out. Some of this footage is included in four Monster Files but it isn’t really a decent substitute.

If you are stuck for ideas for the nerd in your life, Doctor Who would be a great gift and is on sale now on DVD and Blu-ray. Doctor Who no longer needs to be a guilty pleasure.

Doctor Who Series 6 DVD provided by BBCShop.com

Doctor Who: A Christmas Carol – TV Review

Monday night saw Mild Concern sitting amongst children and stars at the premiere of this years Doctor Who Christmas special A Christmas Carol.

I’ll try not to give anything away in reviewing this brilliant episode of Who, though I’d say it is a slightly more low key affair than in previous years. I don’t think a single thing exploded and after last years epic mess a quieter, better crafted story was a welcome relief.

The first half of the episode was pure comedy as Matt Smith expertly delivered Stephen Moffat’s witty dialogue so naturally it was like he was an actor or something. Karen Gillan was sadly in a smaller role than usual but during her brief appearances was in her police uniform keeping the grown up men plenty happy.

Supporting Smith were guest actors Michael Gambon and Kathryn Jenkins who brough different qualities to the show. Gambon was a total powerhouse, playing both the good and evil of the episode and clearly revelling in the fun of being in Doctor Who. Jenkins however shows much lighter acting talent, mostly just looking pretty and doing the occasional song, thereby demonstrating what really got her the job.

What really came across watching Who on the big screen is just how cinematic the show has become. Toby Haynes did a wonderful job of directing, as the TV budget was well and truly stretched to create some stunning shots. The CGI is at its peak here too making for a perfect storm of good TV.

So the writing was great, the acting was (mostly) great and the directing too was… great, but what of the story? I’m glad you asked, the story is really Christmassy and imaginative as we get a truly Who version of a classic tale complete with snow, carols, sharks and time travel.

After the screening Caitlin Moran, everyone’s favourite TV critic, chaired a Q&A with Smith, Moffat and Jenkins which brought no real insights beyond Jenkins being nervous and Gambon having plenty of anecdotes. The main highlight came when “superfan” Karen Gillan asked the panel about their favourite types of fish before shouting out “I like blowfish” for no good reason.

You had to be there really… and you weren’t. Ha!

Tune in on Christmas Day and enjoy a family friendly Christmas treat.

Womb – Review

In Womb Eva Green and Matt Smith are childhood sweethearts who meet up again once they’re all grown up. Cue a tragic accident and suddenly Eva Green is pregnant with a clone of her former lover. The rest of the two hours are filled with weird relationships and uncomfortable moments.

Womb is similar to Never Let Me Go in that it features a scientific advancement that forms the basis of the plot while focusing on people’s relationships and heavy knitwear. It also shares Peter Wight and Lesley Manville from Another Year as Smith’s parents which is amusing if you see both films within a few days of one another.

Womb is slow, tragic and beautiful. It’s certainly not an easy watch and isn’t necessarily what you’d call enjoyable but certainly provides an interesting watch. If you aren’t squirming in your seat and debating the morality of what you’re watching then you’re not watching it right. This is not a date movie, and certainly not one to watch with your parents. Lovely directing though the dialogue could perhaps do with some work.

After the film writer/director Benedek Fliegauf, Leslie Manville and Peter Wight did a short Q&A session, which consisted of Mike Leigh comparisons and the question of why it had to end the way it did. Fliegauf described the film as a fairy tale rather than a sci-fi, the different apprently being an emphasis on emotions rather than the dynamics of the fictional science.

In conclusion Womb is a good film, just not one I’d actually like to recommend to someone. Luckily the UK distribution is not yet sorted so you’ll have to wait to see Matt Smith run naked into the sea.