The Blog is Dead, Long Live the Blog!

Jeff Goldblum's Laugh

Three months ago I announced that I would be contributing to the new film blog hosted by The Prince Charles Cinema; Jeff Goldblum’s Laugh. Now with mixed feelings I am here to say that the blog is no more. Jeff Goldblum has no laughs left. The reasons are numerous… let’s just say that there were commercial goals to be met and initial success was followed by a creeping malaise. Regardless Mild Concern is still here and we have no commercial goals to meet or management to keep happy. There’s nothing like writing for someone else to make you appreciate the freedom your very own website can afford you.

So long as I am still physically able to type this particular film blog will live on. And with this blog we mourn the passing of Jeff Goldblum’s Laugh and do so using a particularly cinematic poem with a few minor tweaks:

Stop all the blogs, cut off the internet,
Prevent the fan from blogging with rumours from the set.
Silence the keyboards and with double-click
Close down the website, save on memory stick.

Let readers circle moan in comment thread
Tweeting on the web the message Jeff is Dead,
Put celluloid bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the cinema ushers wear black cotton gloves.

He was my Dr. Ian Malcolm, my Jeff and Goldblum,
Weekday evening and my Sunday afternoon,
My noon, my midnight, my dialogue, my song,
I thought that blog would last forever: I was wrong

The stars are not wanted now, put out every one;
Pack up J-Law and dismantle Portman;
Pour away the champagne and scoop up the popcorn.
For no film now can ever come under our scorn.

Mild Concern for Jeff Goldblum’s Laugh

Jeff Goldblum's Laugh

Some news of a blogging nature today as I have joined the writing team over at the Prince Charles Cinema’s new blog Jeff Goldblum’s Laugh. Essentially this means that once a week, or more perhaps, I will be posting my usual witterings over there too. This may take the form of posts unique to their blog, cross-posts appearing both there and here, and some revamped and rejuvenated posts from the archives here at Mild Concern.

I will never abandon my humble home at Mild Concern and with any luck we’ll still have contributions from other writers so let’s just think of Jeff Goldblum’s Laugh as my way of getting some of my words to a larger audience.

Excitingly Mild Concern turns four this Saturday and fingers crossed this year will be even better than last year when we branched out into interviewing directors, I shared my face on Al Jazeera, and we finally got a star rating featured on a DVD cover.

And with that I leave you with hugs and kisses, and Jeff Golblum’s laugh:

A Poem of Mild Concern

Poem

A few weeks back I came across The Poetry Takeaway who offer to write custom poems for free to anyone brave enough to approach their stall. When I say “came across” I mean I deliberately went out on a hunt for their stall because the idea of someone writing me a poem simultaneously intrigued me and promised to stroke my ego a little. I was assigned poet chef Dan Simpson to whom I gave my Mild Concern business card (yes I have business cards!) and the brief of writing a film related poem with the title “Mild Concern”. An hour later he had written the below:

A twentieth century drumroll please
cast pearls before the asteroid theme
roar into opening credits
fade from black to silver screen.

A mouse moves across a desk
a finger is depressed
machines carry out their orders
a loading screen is refreshed.

There’s something slightly worrying
like a secret and wild slow burn
the atmosphere is lightly anxious
this is a case for Mild Concern.

Oh yes, we have our own official poem. Take that other film blogs!

Continue reading

1,000 Posts Later…

Mild-Concern

Mild Concern – Snobbish, scatty, ill-informed, inconsistent, and not as funny as it thinks it is

Back in 2010 I was an unemployed film fan living in a village in the Midlands who thought a good use of his time would be to write his thoughts down in the form of a blog. I already had the domain name mildconcern.com after a very brief attempt at making my own web comic; an endeavour that fell flat when I realised that I had no drawing ability and no real concept to use. And so a website was born! There was yellow everywhere (#fffc0f to be precise) and most posts were my gut reaction to news items. The advantage of having no job meant that I could be relatively up to date with the goings on of the film world and respond without even pausing to think… or proof read.

A few months later I moved to London to seek my fortune and was forced to keep the site updated in the early morning or late at night, occasionally checking that the site had not collapsed in my lunch break. It was in London that strange things started to happen; bit by bit PR agencies were getting in touch and wanting me to see their films before they were in cinemas. No more rushing back from Cineworld Solihull to compose a review no one had any interest in. Now I was rushing home from Vue West End, realising the film wasn’t out for another two months, making no notes, and hastily composing a review the day before the film came out.

Over the years (three of them in total) I have gathered a few friendly film enthusiasts into what I will inaccurately call my team. The first to join was Kat, a friend who had become tired of emailing me my typos and wanted direct access to sub-edit my posts. Then we got young Stephen, who once sent me a photo of himself with baked beans in his hair, followed by Lizzie, who sometimes writes for the Guardian (!!!!!), and most recently Ollie, a media lecturer who writes the sort of article I would never think of. And let’s not forget Rach who provided us with the most quotable review ever and got me through the Oscars, and Mel who gets me through the all-nighters.

You may also have noticed that the yellow is no longer #fffc0f but has shifted to the endlessly classier #ffea01. See the difference for yourself:

Yellow

I can’t believe we ever got away with the frankly gaudy #fffc0f. Amateurs.

Over those 1,000 posts we briefly went viral, angered fans of Kevin Smith and Derek, possibly induced epilepsy with numerous animated gifs, got mathematical, called two Camerons a prick, disappointed many fans of Fassbender’s penis, and possibly got a little carried away in Photoshop. I almost convinced a former submissive to review Fifty Shades of Grey for us but it wasn’t to be. The Felicity Jones tag has got a fair bit of use and a look at the tag cloud reveals more than I am comfortable with about things I love and love to hate:

Tags

How is Footloose not bigger?

What is this navel-gazing in aid of? Partly for some self-congratulation, partly to thank those who contribute to the blog, but mostly to thank anyone who actually reads what goes up here; those people who aren’t just trying to win a TV. We’ve reached 1,000 posts and I am a little bit proud.

To finish I will reveal what our star system means, because Kat and I figured it out and in true Mild Concern style forgot to share it with anyone else:

Total Panic

Quite Unsettled

Mild Concern

Rather Pleased

Absolute Amazement

And now to publish without proof reading. Enjoy yourself Kat!

(Kat’s note: A mere two corrections – Happy 1,000th post!)

We’re Back!

We’re back! This week your 3rd favourite film site was brought to its knees by a combination of a severe lack of internet and what can only be described as… A COLD.

That’s right, it was the perfect storm. Were it not for an email from Australia there would have been no posts at all this week. Do you know how hard it is to crop an image down to 500×250 pixels while coughing your lungs up?

Well today we have internet and only a minor headache so prepare for lots of posts!