Infrequently Asked Questions 2013

Michael Fassbender Pianist

Following the success of last year’s Infrequently Asked Questions I have decided to repeat the exercise in the hopes of satisfying lost Googlers. The concept is simple, I trawl through all the search terms from 2013 that lead to this site and answer any questions people had that they would not have found the answer to on Mild Concern. The only questions I will ignore are people looking for various actors in a state of undress; there is a limit to what I will do for hits.

As with last year the most popular search query was people searching for nude pictures of Michael Fassbender, pictures that sound very similar to how you might describe the above picture… For the full stats on that particular search term see the pie chart at the end of this post.

Did the actors play their instruments in A Late Quartet? The cast studied their instruments to at least look like they were playing them but no, it is not their playing that you hear in the film.

Anyone know the sunglasses Giovanni Ribisi wore in Gangster Squad? Not entirely sure but he is the face of Barton Perreira eyewear. Apparently.

Are there snakes in The Hunger Games? Look carefully in the credits and you’ll find Jonwilder Lee Bartlett credited as “snake wrangler”. But can I remember any snakes? No.

Does After Porn Ends show nudity? Yes. You all asked this last year. IT IS A FILM ABOUT PORN STARS!!!

Does Claire wear a wig in Lost? Not at first but in flashbacks she certainly does and from memory she wears one on the island in later years. Sometimes an actress cuts her hair. Things happen.

How much swearing is in Philomena? Let’s ask the BBFC: “There are two uses of strong language (‘f**k’). Milder language includes the terms ‘bloody’, ‘crap’; ‘fecking’, ‘shit’, ‘shite’ and ‘tits’.”

How much of Philomena is based on fact? Most of it. Philomena is a real woman who was forced to give up her son and did not mention it for fifty years. She was also helped by Martin Sixsmith and they did indeed discover the thing that they discovered in the film. (No spoilers here.) The only thing that was fabricated was that in real life Philomena did not make the trip to America with Martin but followed his progress through phone calls.

Do you need to see Avengers Assemble before seeing Thor: The Dark World? Not really no. So long as you know that Thor is from another world, has an evil brother, and pines for Natalie Portman who is living on Earth then you’re all set.

Natalie Portman Thor wellies? Not so much a question but an oddly frequent request. Here you go perverts:

Portman Wellies

Do you like Doctor Who? Yes thanks, as does Kat, but we didn’t care much for the latest Christmas special. Stephen loathes it though if you’d prefer a balanced view.

Why do people like Doctor Who so much? It is scary, funny, and has a lot of heart. Also, Jenna Coleman is hot.

I don’t get Doctor Who He’s a centuries old alien who travels through time in a spaceship the shape of a police telephone box. The box is massive on the inside and he only has a limited number of lives which was recently reset due to receiving new regeneration energy via a rift in space from his home plant. He likes to travel with an assistant who is normally young, female, attractive and human. What’s not to get?

What is premise of How I Met Your Mother? I’ll take this slow for you. A man. Is telling his kids. How he met their mother. Admittedly he takes his sweet time but it’s not that hard to understand. Maybe they confused you by writing the title in the second person?

Is Lily in How I Met Your Mother bisexual? From the HIMYM wiki: “Lily could be bisexual, this could be proven as she said in one episode that she wants to have a lesbian experience, and that she told Robin she had a great ass. She also admitted to having some romantic dreams about Robin. It stated that whenever she drink martinis she wants to make out with Robin and she has dreams about her when she’s pregnant.”

What are Tim Burton’s Batman movies? Batman and Batman Returns. Now let me introduce you to IMDb, it will save us both some time.

Was The Strangers movie connected to The Cabin in the Woods? Not any more than every other horror film ever made. In many ways The Cabin in the Woods provides an alternative way to watch The Strangers in a non-canon way and those masks are awfully similar…

The Cabin in the Woods The Strangers

What team does Nicholas Hoult support? You asked this last year and I still don’t know. I have tweeted him to ask so we’ll just have to wait and see.

Where does Nicholas Hoult stay at in California? How would I know and why do you care? Stop trying to stalk Nicholas Hoult and get yourself a nice boyfriend instead.

What’s new pussycat? Not much thanks.

What’s the film called that was released on boxing day in 2012? How specific! Grabbers, Jack Reacher, Midnight’s Children, Parental Guidance, Safety Not Guaranteed, and Zaytoun.

What has happened to Cameron Crowe? Since you asked last year he has written and directed a film starring Emma Stone, Bradley Cooper, and Rachel McAdams. I’m hoping for another Almost Famous and not another We Bought a Zoo.

What certificate is Pulp Fiction? 18 for strong violence, sex references and hard drug use.

Who did Jon Cryer play in Clarissa Explains it AllHe was never in it but a lot of people seem to think he looks like a grown up Ferguson.

Who are Matt Smith’s parents? There’s a Doctor Who pun to be had but I will ignore it. You can find his mum on Twitter, she likes “all things Fabulous”.

Who is Edgar Wright dating? Not Anna Kendrick. That’s as deep as my knowledge goes.

Social concern about Jurassic Park? Well the first thing to worry about is the misuse of science. The second is OH MY GOD THE DINOSAURS ARE ALIVE AND TRYING TO EAT MY FACE!!!

Rupert Grint’s acting ability? On average about 6.32 out of 10. Source

rupert grint chart

Why is David Cameron such a prick? His upbringing perhaps? Or something to do with having to live with that face 24/7.

Why does Mama DVD have no extras? They’ve put them all on the Blu-Ray to try to make you buy that instead. That aside the film is AWFUL so why are you even buying it?

He loves me he loves me not He loves you!

Is there an alpha gibbon? Yes.

Dancing as a metaphore for freedom in 1984 Footloose First of all that is not how you spell metaphor. Second of all… yes. Footloose is clearly a subtle adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984.

Is Simon Bird in Plebs? No. The lead actor is Tom Rosenthal who stars in Friday Night Dinner with Simon Bird so you were close.

Lead female in Philomena? Seriously?! Who is the lead in Philomena?! Dame Judi Dench you ignorant fool!

Movie with yellow Volkswagen Well Little Miss Sunshine and Footloose both feature a prominent yellow VW. Were either of those what you were thinking?

When is Me Myself and Mum in general release in the UK? Still no idea which is a shame as it was the best film I saw last year. You can get it on DVD though.

Who was Andy Dick’s character in Laputa: Castle in the Sky? He voiced Henri. For future reference let me introduce you to the Internet Movie Database. You’ll love it.

I thought I’d finish by answering a question nobody asked; just what proportion of search terms related to Michael Fassbender’s appendage? The answer is below:

Plebs – TV Review

Plebs

I am about to do something risky; something that could open me up to abuse and ridicule. I am going to review a comedy.

This may not seem so perilous but I would argue that it is much more difficult to offer your judgement on a comedy than it is a drama. With comedy it comes down to a finely honed personal sense of humour. What do I find funny and did the show in question, ITV2’s Plebs, manage to make me laugh? A few weeks ago I felt the need to say something about Derek; it had reached the point where my minor frustrations bubbled to the surface and I wanted to explain why I was done with the show. There was a lot of support for my view but I also got the following comment:

Derek is fantastic, maybe you like Mrs Browns Boys or Gavin & Stacey if so you should still to that comedy as Derek is clearly too intelligent for someone like you.

My only problem with this reaction was that they had not given an explanation of why they liked Derek and instead just called me stupid. I’m not stupid but that doesn’t dictate what I find funny. I “get” most jokes but some shows just don’t make you laugh and that’s that. I can only offer my opinion on a show and I can’t guarantee that you will agree. I say all this because I am about to say that I like a comedy called Plebs on ITV2 and don’t want you to think less of me.

Plebs follows two young men (Tom Rosenthal and Joel Fry) in Ancient Rome who live with their slave (Ryan Sampson), work in an office under a formidable female boss (Doon Mackichan), and generally try to get laid. If set in London in 2013 this would be a show we’ve all seen a thousand times before (minus the slave possibly) and would be lost in a sea of Inbetweeners rip-offs. With the focus shifted to Ancient Rome a fresh component has been added to the regular formula of pathetic guys looking for love lust.

Plebs

Ancient Rome is a place of orgies and gladiators, slaves and togas. Sex and murder are commonplace and a trip to the stadium is more likely to involve a beheading than a header. Throw in a comedy style reminiscent of Friday Night Dinners and The Inbetweeners (so Simon Bird essentially) and something genuinely funny is formed.

I saw Plebs in a screening room filled with critics and the cast and we all laughed throughout (especially Sophie Colquhoun). Tom Rosenthal came out of nowhere and impressed in Friday Night Dinners, with Plebs he continues to showcase his natural comedy chops. Ryan Sampson is wonderfully dense as slave Grumio and Doon Mackichan is her usual fantastic self as Flavia. The real highlight for me was Tom Basden in a small role as Aurelius; a proud water boy who resents the leads with their slightly better jobs as shredder and copier.

The first two episodes deal with an attempt to attend an orgy and the arrival of a (occasional naked) gladiator played by an unusually effective Danny Dyer. I’m not saying that Plebs is the height of sophistication, far from it, but it got a good belly laugh out of me despite my initial prejudices.

Will you like Plebs? I have no idea but I liked it and I am not stupid.

Plebs starts on ITV2 tonight at 10pm

ITV2 Plebs Screening Party Competition

Plebs

Fancy winning a pair of tickets for you and a mate to an orgy? Well we’re not that kind of website so we don’t have any of those to give away. How about tickets to an exclusive ITV2 party next week instead? We’ve teamed up with ITV2 to give away 10 pairs of tickets to exclusive Roman themed party and screening to celebrate the launch of new comedy show Plebs.

Plebs follows three desperate young men from the suburbs as they try to get laid, hold down jobs, and climb the social ladder in the big city – a city that just happens to be Ancient Rome. I have seen the first two episodes and at the risk of spoiling my own review next week let me reassure you that the show is genuinely funny.

The event takes place next Thursday 21st March at ITV Towers on Southbank. At the event there will be Roman themed entertainment, food and drink, and a sneak peek at the first two episodes of Plebs. To attend the event you and your plus one need to be 18 or over and you will have to make your own way to and from the event.

If you’d like to attend the event simply answer the question below to enter our competition:

Sorry! This competition has closed

Terms & Conditions
1. Promotion starts at 10am GMT, Thursday 14th March 2013 and ends at 5pm GMT Sunday 17th March 2013.
2. In order to be entered into a prize draw, participants must answer the multiple-choice question correctly.
3. Users must be over 18 years of age to be eligible to participate.
4. There are a total of ten (10) prizes: ten (10) pairs of tickets to attend the PLEBS event from 6pm, Thursday 21st March at ITV The London Television Centre, 58-72 Upper Ground, London, SE1 9LT.
5. Ten (10) winners in total will be at random from the correct answers:
a. Winners will be contacted via their email address to be notified of their winning. Winners must reply to their winning notification within one (1) business day. If they do not respond within 1 day, a new winner will be drawn at random.

Continue reading